In this counseling answer:
• Do you really need a highly qualified partner despite the excellent character he might possess?
• Stop comparing your life with others because it will bring a fall.
• You need to decide who you want in life.
Love and attraction have great depth, and the love of Allah (swt) is the most perfect that one can experience. I want you to first take a look at what is happening around you. Ask some simple questions from yourself like what is love? What are your career goals? What are the qualities you want in a life partner? Then make a list of all these answers and scrutinize them.
Assess your relationship on these. Do you really need a highly qualified partner despite the excellent character he might possess? Are you concerned with presenting your man to the world, or is it more important to look at how much he makes you happy?
Stop comparing your life with others (especially those you see in films) because it will always bring a fall. We always see and feel when someone is happier than us, but we often fail to thank Allah (swt) when we see ourselves doing better than others.
Life will introduce you to several kinds of individuals. Some will be good at speaking; some will excel in academics while the remaining will be good at business, or interested in working for humanity. Trust me, everyone possesses a special talent. Now, it is up to you what you want for yourself. Maybe there is someone who has a Ph.D. but mistreats you, while another loves and protects you but for some reason hasn’t obtained a college diploma. Despite, he is a hard-worker and a successful man in his field.
Six years is a long time. You need to clear your mind. Stop comparing these two boys and instead of carrying out things in such a manner, I advise you to get into a halal relationship. The purpose of marriage in Islam is family. Although every individual has the right to choose a partner, you should be more concerned about the character of the person. Islam explicitly states that when it comes to deciding on a marriage proposal/ partner, you should choose someone who is a believer: who prays, who follows the Quran and Sunnah, who is from a good and pious family and is mentally and physically fit. Islam recommends a spouse who does not mistreat his wife. Look at these aspects before taking any step.
“Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words.” (Qur’an, 24:26)
First, you need to decide who you want in your life. If it is your fiancé, talk to him about the things that disappoint you. Once again, don’t be too straightforward. Instead of saying, “I want you to improve your English before you marry me”, rephrase and say that you want him to pursue a higher degree as it will be in the greater interest of your future kids, in sha’ Allah. Let us see if he puts an effort because it is clear that he has been there with you during the tough time. This demonstrates the qualities of a true partner. Take time so that you can be clear about what qualities are more important for you.
Check out this counseling video:
As a matter of fact, relationships cannot last under strict conditions. You need to choose. How suitable do you think this lecture is for you? Is it only his education that inspires you, or does he possess other traits that you want in your husband? Are you marrying him for the world to see how groomed he is, or have you experienced his true care and affection? If he is really serious about marrying you, wouldn’t he make a move? You need to get over this state of confusion and talk to these guys after you are clear on what you want and how you want things to be. Take control of your life and have faith in Allah (swt) because “…Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Qur’an, 2:216)
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