Can My Fiancé Convert to Islam to Marry Me?

05 December, 2019
Q As-salamu Alaykum.I have some problems and I need help from you. In July, I will be married to a man from Sweden. He is ready to become a Muslim, but I know he wants to become Muslim because he wants to marry me. He wants to learn about Islam because before he didn’t believe in religion. So, I hope someone can give information about Islam to my boyfriend. After marriage, I will stay in Sweden, his country. Are there Muslims in Sweden? Where can I meet a teacher in Sweden for Kenneth (my boyfriend)? We will stay in Vetlanda. Please, I need help from you. Thanks.

Answer

Short Answer: If a person converts for the sake of a worldly objective—like marriage—then the Muslim community must work intelligently to foster the vulnerable iman (faith) in his heart.

On the other hand, I would not suggest signing a marriage contract with him until the true taste of iman has entered his heart.

For a marriage to continue in a strong, healthy way it is necessary that both partners resolve to stay within the boundaries of Islam and refer to the Quran and the Sunnah if any differences arise.

This method of maintaining a marriage can only happen when both partners are aware of the teachings of Islam and are committed to following them.

So this is a perfect opportunity for both of you to make a fresh start in your lives and align yourselves with Islam, seeking the pleasure of Almighty Allah from Whom we seek success in all matters.

………….

Salam Dear Yenni,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

To start with, it’s very important to ask yourself why you want your boyfriend to become a Muslim.

Is it simply so that you can get married in a way that will be culturally acceptable in Indonesia?

Or are you really concerned about Kenneth’s afterlife?

If it is the latter, then your best option is to pray for his guidance at every possible moment.

Then, let some good, responsible, male Muslims with excellent character explain to him the fundamentals of Islam in a non-pushy way.

Is It You or Allah He Wants?

I could not understand from your question whether Kenneth is sincerely interested in Islam or simply converting in order to marry you.

If a person converts for the sake of a worldly objective—like marriage—then the Muslim community must work intelligently to foster the vulnerable iman (faith) in his heart.

On the other hand, I would not suggest signing a marriage contract with him until the true taste of iman has entered his heart.

Marriage is a weighty matter, and under these circumstances, you do not want to rush into something that could end in disaster.

Think of the Future

A word of advice, sister: Marriage is a commitment that will, insha’Allah, continue after the initial phase of attraction.

For a marriage to continue in a strong, healthy way it is necessary that both partners resolve to stay within the boundaries of Islam and refer to the Quran and the Sunnah if any differences arise.

This method of maintaining a marriage can only happen when both partners are aware of the teachings of Islam and are committed to following them.

So this is a perfect opportunity for both of you to make a fresh start in your lives and align yourselves with Islam, seeking the pleasure of Almighty Allah from Whom we seek success in all matters.

Muslim Community in Sweden

In response to your second question, yes, there are many Muslims in Sweden and several mosques and Islamic centers. I believe the information on the following link will help you locate a nearby mosque: Vaxjo Islamic Center.

I suggest that you contact the center and explain your situation to them.

Maintaining Islamic Conduct Before Marriage

If Kenneth converts to Islam—and we all pray for him—and if faith has truly entered his heart, then I strongly suggest that you respect the Islamic rules of conduct between an engaged couple.

Please refer to our fatwa section for more information about these rules.

You must keep in mind that going against the dictates of Islam, in addition to showing ingratitude to Allah, will decrease the barakah (blessing) in your marriage.

A lack of barakah can have disastrous effects, such as marital discord, difficulties, divorce, or even physical and emotional problems with your future children. Please keep these facts in mind.

Thank you for your question, sister. And do not stop praying for Kenneth’s success in this life and the next.

And Allah knows best.

I hope this helps.

Salam and please keep in touch.

(From Ask About Islam archives)

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/converting-marriage-superficial/

 

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-islam/invite-catholic-boyfriend-islam/

 

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-scholar/family/can-marry-christian-girlfriend/

 

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-the-counselor/youth-issues/want-marry-christian-guy/

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