I tried to speak with her to speak with me about any problems she faces, but she answers that she finds her friends understand her better than me. What should I do? Thanks.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•While you desire that she discusses her problems with you, the truth is you cannot force her to sister.
•You can only share of yourself in an open way and hope that she will share with and confide in you as well, though it may take time.
•Be patient with her and don’t push her. This is a natural phase of growth and development as she is seeking her own identity.
As-salamu alaykum,
At 15 this is quite normal as young adults form bonds and discuss the similar things they are going through at that age. Often times, parents are looked upon as ones who were never 15!
Children often forget that their parents were once their age and thus feel “they will not understand”.
Often times it is difficult for parents to remember what it felt like to be 15 thus compounding the issue.
Share your experience
I would kindly suggest getting in touch with your memories as a 15-year-old and try to recall some of the things you went through, who were your friends, who did you talk to the most.
At this age, girls can be cliquish and form strong bonds of friendship wherein everything is discussed. I would kindly suggest that you share some of your experiences with her when you were her age.
Share some funny moments to break the ice and make her laugh a well as share some serious ones and tell her how you handled it.
Share with her how you may have felt vulnerable or confused about certain things and how you resolved your feelings. At this age hormones are raging, bodies have changed and moods may be temperamental.
Check out this counseling video
While you desire that she discusses her problems with you, the truth is you cannot force her to sister. You can only share of yourself in an open way and hope that she will share with and confide in you as well. Though it may take time, be patient with her and don’t push her.
Conclusion
This is a natural phase of growth and development, as she is seeking her own identity in an ever-changing body and emotions.
In time, I am sure that insha’Allah you will be the one she turns to once again for advice, such is the circle of life. With a little patience and a lot of prayers, you will adjust to this new phase in your daughter’s life and still be a great support to her.
We wish you the best, you are in our prayers.
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