Answer
In this counseling answer:
My personal recommendation is to first teach your son to potty training sitting down.
Once he is completely potty-trained for both and is accident-free, then you can start training him to go to the toilet like his elders!
The easiest way to do so is to encourage his father to do his duties towards his son.
Let your son know that being divorced doesn’t mean that his father doesn’t love or care for him; this feeling will make him more stable and secure.
As-salamu`alaykum dear sister.
Your question looks simple enough, but I feel the real problem lies between the lines; which is (in my opinion) that you are focusing a lot on dealing with this alone.
You said I am a single mother, how do I teach my son to pee while standing? Let me ask you another question And if you were not a single mother who would teach your son how to urinate?” probably you.
Haven’t you heard mothers complaining that their husbands are only present physically, but practically they are absent? Open the ears of your heart to the words of the Lord:
“On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.” (Al-Baqarah 2:286 )
So keep in mind that you are capable of teaching your son, in behavior, habits and deen,always remember that the Sahabiat (female Companions of Prophet Muhammad) are the ones who raised their children as the men were working in the name of Islam and many of the great scholars were raised by women like Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ibn Hazm.
Check out this counseling answer:
Now back to your question, it is recommended that boys should be potty trained sitting down. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends encouraging & teaching boys to urinate sitting down.
The major reason for this recommendation is to keep things simple by teaching them to sit for both urination and bowel movements, and minimizing the effort required to clean up while they learn to aim properly.
My personal recommendation is to first teach your son to potty training sitting down. Once he is completely potty-trained for both and is accident-free, then you can start training him to go to the toilet like his elders!!
The easiest way to do so is to encourage his father to do his duties towards his son, let your son know that being divorced doesn’t mean that his father doesn’t love or care for him; this feeling will make him more stable and secure.
If not possible, then his grandfather or his uncle can take him several days until he is trained, but if this is also not possible then follow these nice and easy steps:
- Make sure that he is steady on his feet and that he is wearing loose clothing.
- Avoid being anxious and creating anxiety
- Make sure that the toilet seat stays in the raised position
- Teach him to hold and aim into the toilet
- Make it fun and show the joy of not wearing anymore nappies, and being able to wear trousers
- When your son improves his aiming abilities instruct him to stop urine flow between targets. This increases bladder control and helps reduce bed wetting and urine dribbling. Most Pediatricians recommend daily bladder control exercises for young shooters.
Praise Your Child:
This is a big accomplishment. It’s very important for you to show him just how proud you are. A hug or kiss will make his toilet training experience both fun and rewarding.
Let your Son Flush:
Put the toilet seat down.
Wash Hands:
Washing and wiping hands is an important in Sunnah and a part of toilet training. This also encourages good hygiene at an early age.
And here are some of the Islamic etiquettes of entering the toilette
- Before entering the toilet say the du`aa’ loudly so that he can repeat after you. “Allahuma ini a`uzu bika min al khubth wa al-khaba-ith”(Oh Allah I seek refuge in You from male and female devils)(Muslim)
- When entering the toilette put your left foot first.
- Teach him to attain privacy and cover his private parts from others.
- Try not to face qibla or to keep qibla towards the back whilst using the toilet(as possible)
- Say the du`aa’ of leaving the toilet and step out in your right foot.“ Ghufranak” (I seek Your forgiveness) ( ibn Majah)
Conclusion
Last, I like to tell you if he is not ready yet, it is okay to wait, after all the Sunnah is to urinate while sitting down though it is not haram to do it the other way. But if he is ready he will probably teach himself as it is an easy thing for him.
All my du`aa’ to you to be strong in the mission that Allah (swt) summoned you to do, although being a single mother sometimes seems to be difficult but there is much blessing, help and compassion from Allah.
“ And make yourself submissively gentle to them (parents) with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have compassion on them, as they brought me up (when I was) little“ (Al-Israa`17:24)
So make all your effort to bring him up as a pious, kind and successful Muslim to earn His mercy.
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