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Terrible Intrusive Thoughts Ruin My Life

03 May, 2020
Q I have OCD related to cleanliness, wudu and prayers. I doubt everything. I doubt my wudu, my intention, the number of rakats, whether al-Fatiha was said correctly or not, …etc.

I think my hair is showing during a prayer, or my feet are exposed during sujood, or that my hands got exposed.

The worst problem of all is the intrusive curses that occur in my head against Allah and the Prophet. They are so terrible and come especially during wudu and prayer times.

They make me stop my prayer and say the shahada and keep on repeating the shahada and my intention and prayers.

I understand that the only solution is to ignore them, but how do I ignore all these?

I tried so many times and cannot ignore it no matter how hard I try. They make me extremely stressed and sad.

Please help.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

• You may find some comfort and assistance in also reciting Surah Ihklas, An-Nas, and Surah Al-Falaq every day.

• Make your intention once and don’t do it again. Even if you feel doubt, Allah (swt) knows your heart better than you know it.

• Do wudu once and walk out.

• Utilize slow, deep breathing to calm your worries when you feel them rising.

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• Pick an activity you enjoy that helps you focus on something else.

• Seek help from counseling.


As-salamu alaikum wa rahmatuulahi wa barakatu. 

Thank you for taking the time to write in regarding your concerns. It is my understanding that you experience doubts, problematic thoughts and compulsive behaviors related to your acts of worship. This sounds like waswasa (whispers from shaitan) and your stress causes you to have physical symptoms.

Waswasa is not the same thing as clinical obsessive-compulsive disorder, but they take on some of the same symptoms. Stress in itself can cause stomach problems, headaches, insomnia, increases doubts and anxiety.

Please take some comfort in knowing that this is something many brothers and sisters have experienced. You can overcome these as well, inshallah.

I want you to understand something sister: focusing on this and letting it upset you is exactly what the shaitan wants. You mentioned stopping your prayer to say shahada and repeating the intention and prayer. Sister, you don’t need to do this. Think of it like feeding an animal: the more you feed it, the more often it will come back.

I suggest you keep on track with your prayer and don’t stop in the middle of it. You can take an extra moment to say audhu billahi mina shaitan as rajeem (seeking refuge in Allah from Shaitan), then carry on with the prayer as normal.

“And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing.” [Quran 7:200]

Please understand I am not a scholar, so I cannot give religious rulings. However, you may find some comfort and assistance in also reciting Surah Ihklas, An-Nas, and Surah Al-Falaq every day. 

Intention

Sister, our intentions mean a great deal in Islam. You mentioned Surah Al-Fatihah and wondering if you said it right. Even if you missed a vowel sound in the pronunciation, Allah (most honored, most revered) knows your intentions and you will be rewarded for every word you recite.

Terrible Intrusive Thoughts Ruin My Life - About Islam

Imagine how many new Muslims cannot even say this surah in Arabic, yet they get rewarded. Your worries and doubts are rooted in anxiety, so let’s talk about simple ways to bring this down.

Make your intention once and don’t do it again. Even if you feel doubt, Allah (swt) knows your heart better than you know it. Allah (swt) knows your intention, rely upon that, tell yourself “He knows my heart” and don’t do it again.

If you are unsure of the number of rakat, keep going and think you are on and remember Allah (swt) knows your intention.

Do wudu once and walk out. Don’t repeat it immediately even if you fear you should. Seek refuge in Allah (swt) if you have those thoughts and leave the wash area.

Remember prayer is about showing love and devotion to your creator. We are not perfect, but if you are doing your best, Allah (swt) knows that.

Utilize slow, deep breathing to calm your worries when you feel them rising. You can count slowly to 4 and back down to 1 to refocus your mind elsewhere when you feel disturbing thoughts are coming in.

Refocus Your Attention

When you experience these compulsive thoughts and worries, an effective technique is shifting your attention away from the topic in your mind. When you are not in prayer, you can use redirection techniques like going for a walk in nature, painting, exercise or cooking.

Pick an activity you enjoy that helps you focus on something else. The longer you engage in this refocusing activity, the more likely the invasive thought will go away completely inshallah.

Journal

Journaling cannot only be a refocusing technique; it is a way to help you combat those thoughts with rational ones. You can use a pen and paper or work on technology such as a tablet. When the thoughts are in your mind, write down the compulsive thought or worry. Next, write down a rational idea as to why it is false. This helps you have a visualization that combats the intrusive thoughts.

For example, you think you did not do wudu completely. Firstly, write down that thought, then next to it you may write: “I care about my wudu being correct for prayer, I would never neglect wudu”. Look at what you wrote and think about it. Let your rational mind combat the intrusive and irrational thought.

Counseling

You describe feeling exhausted, having extreme stress and wanting to find happiness in your prayer again. It is possible to handle this on your own, but you can consider seeking out professional help. This doesn’t necessarily have to be a psychiatrist or licensed clinical therapist; you can consider a counselor or coach.

Additionally, if you don’t want to do this in person, then online is always an option. Here you can find AboutIslam’s special online counseling service.


Check out this counseling video:


Your family and friends can also be a source of comfort and support for you to speak with and vent your emotions. They may have experienced similar feelings in the past and be able to share their experiences with you.

Final Thoughts

Sister, moving forward keep these tips in mind.

Seek refuge in Allah (swt) whenever you feel those doubts and thoughts emerging.

Utilize the recitation of Quran to help you.

Do wudu and actions of prayer once without stopping and repeating the same actions.

Remind yourself that Allah (swt) knows your heart and intentions.

Use slow breathing techniques to calm yourself.

Refocus your thoughts using activities such as exercise or cooking.

Utilize a journal to combat intrusive thoughts with rational ones.

I understand these thoughts and worries can seem exhausting, but inshallah you can move past them and find more solace in prayer. May Allah (swt) make it easy for you,

Ameen. 

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Monique Hassan
Monique Hassan graduated with honors in 2012 with her BSc in Psychology and a minor in Biology and is certified in Crisis Prevention and Intervention. She has years of professional as well as personal experience with trauma, relationship struggles, substance abuse, identifying coping skills, conflict resolution, community outreach, and overall mental health concerns. She is a professional writer specialized in Islamic Psychology and Behavioral Health. She is also a revert who took her shahada in 2015, Alhamdulillah. You can contact Sister Monique Hassan via her website "MoniqueHassan.com"