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My Wife Talks to Another Man… Please Advise!

10 December, 2022
Q My wife is suspected to be having an affair with another man, with glaring chats evidence, though she denies it. I reported the issue to her mother, before whom she vowed not to talk to the man again, but she continued talking to the man the very next day. I admonished her, and she promised not to talk to the man again. She still didn't stop talking to the man. I heard her tell the man on the phone, "I don't know where to draw the line between me, you, and my marriage". Only for her to say she wasn't having an affair with the man, that she is only comfortable talking to the man, that there is absolutely nothing she can't discuss with the man, who happens to be divorced. Kindly advise me on how to handle this....

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
10 December, 2022

If your wife regularly talks to another man, you may sit down with her and let her know that, besides that this behavior is sinful and not correct Islamically, it hurts you and your feelings.

She needs to know that you love her and want to save your marriage. 

She also needs to know that for Muslims, there is a clear line between women and non-mahrams and vice versa.

You can expect your wife not to befriend other men; make this clear for her. 

You might involve her mother as well if you think that she has a positive influence on your wife. 

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.