How to Be Sure About My Feelings for a Girl?

20 October, 2019
Q As-salamu `alaykum, I am a 19-year-old male I have a problem with girls, I talk to them and so on, but then I am never sure about my feelings and their feelings. I don't know is it a crush or is it a real love. Is she interested in me or not and so on. I also don't know how to test if this girl could be my future wife or not.

How can I test this or find out whether this girl is the last and only one in my life or if she is only a crush? How to find this out? How to handle with girls and to talk to them, etc.? Are there Islamic gentleman rules like ladies first or not? How to talk to girls in general without then loving them. How to find the future wife?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•You should talk to your parents and let them know you saw someone that you would like to get to know better

•You could also ask your friends if they know about the individual.”

•When you see someone you are interested in, you should try to look at all elements of her character and then pray Istikharah


As-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullah.

My dear brother, May Allah bless you for trying to do what is right and may He make you pure and chaste and make you among the righteous.

First, I should mention that there are Islamic gentleman rules and that Islam has a strong sense of men being the kindest and most gentle with their wives.

However, there should be no casual conversations between unmarried men and women. At age 19, you are still young and may not know how to best interpret what you feel.

This is why, if you see someone you are interested in, you should talk to your parents and let them know you saw someone that you would like to get to know better. You could also ask your friends if they know about the individual.

How to Be Sure About My Feelings for a Girl? - About Islam

Remember the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said that you could marry a woman for many reasons: wealth, status, beauty and deen and the best thing to marry for is religion.

When you see someone you are interested in, you should try to look at all elements of her character and then pray Istikharah and make a choice. When you do it properly for Allah, He will put the love in your hearts and give you a successful marriage.

And Allah knows best.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Jeewan Chanicka
Jeewan Chanicka is from Toronto, Canada, and has been involved in working with youth, education, and social services issues since 1993. He graduated with a bachelor's degree with honors in individualized studies at York University with a focus on conflict resolution and culturally appropriate forms of mediation. He has done much work with both youth and adults, especially around parenting, teenage and youth issues, and bridging the gap between generations.