I thought I would like the guy later, but I don't. I spoke to my parents about it, but they were furious. And yes, I forgot to mention that a friend of mine, for 10 years, asked me for marriage. He is a decent guy and belongs to a decent family. I had told my mom about this before my engagement so when I told her I’m not liking my fiancé, she said to dad that it was because of my guy friend. I However did not deny as I knew my parents wouldn't understand so I invited my friend to our home. My dad met him and said he's a decent and genuine guy but he isn't financially as rich and stable as my fiancé. They rejected him.
I felt really bad, I tried to talk to my parents for 2 weeks because I knew him and his family for a really long time. However, they weren't convinced and asked me to continue my engagement. I did so. I started talking to my fiancé but still I did not like him. But I thought I'd eventually fall in love once I get married. But now their family is placing demands which I’m not agreeing to but my parents are saying that every girl's family has to do this. For example my MIL said that we'll arrange everything for their people in nikah, things like rooms and food for all three times as they are travelling from a different state but at reception they want us to arrange everything for our family members ourselves... N now she says that I cannot give my salary or any money to my mother or father once I’m married, my every penny should be given to the in-laws. I really did not like this and told my dad to call it off, but they r saying this happens in every household. I don’t know what to do. Please help
Answer
When you are looking for a spouse, the main goal is not to please your parents but to find someone who helps you get closer to Allah and who you like and are compatible with.
Even if he is rich and your parents like him but you do not, you need to think very carefully before you make your decision.
Also, make sure that you do not give up your Islamic rights in a marriage for the cultural customs of others.
Ask yourself: Would you be truly happy in a marriage like this? How will it affect your well-being and your faith?
Click on the video and listen to the full advice!
More from Sr. Aisha:
- Parents Are Forcing Me to Marry Someone I Don’t Like
- He Left Me, Still I Want to Get Married to Him
- Marrying an Older Woman: How to Convince My Father?
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