Do you get angry? Often? How do you express your anger?
Do you think you are unique in your family in the way you express your anger? If not, do you find yourself repeating another family member’s style of expressing anger?
Have you witnessed someone become angry recently? What about in your own family? How did their reaction make you feel?
The popular advice we often hear these days about handling anger is “don’t hold it in, let it out”. We are told that it is unhealthy to hold in our anger.
Television shows, movies, and video games tend to sensationalize outbursts of anger; often showing in too much detail the facial expressions of angry people and the wanton destruction they wreak.
Although the great debate as to how much popular entertainment influences personal lives rages on, one thing is for sure: Anger hurts not only the person becoming angry but also people close to that person. Frequent outbursts of anger ultimately will negatively affect a person’s physical health as well.
According to Islamic teachings, outbursts of anger are supposed to never occur. Our role model is the best of creation and the beloved of Allah the Almighty, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
So here is the challenge: Find one instance in which Prophet Muhammad had an outburst due to becoming angry. You will never meet the challenge because it just did not happen.
There are instances in which his face became red and he was visibly upset. We are told that his demeanor changed. But we never find an instance in which his emotions betrayed him to the degree that he had an outburst of anger.
How odd, indeed, that despite claiming our sincere desire to emulate the Prophet, you and I continue to exercise little self-restraint when we are angry. Instead, we say hurtful things; sometimes, in our weakest moments, we resort to pushing, hitting, or punching others, or throwing things at them.
This is a shameful situation indeed. Each of us must come to terms with our own inability and weakness to exercise self-restraint when something upsets us. Let’s start.
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