Unable to Control Your Anger? These 3 Tips Will Help You

Increase Self-Awareness

We all have to spend some time on self-reflection, on getting to know ourselves. Young people are often too busy growing up, trying to answer the questions “who am I?” and “what do I want to be?”

When it comes to restraining ourselves from anger, the first step must be to increase our self-awareness. We need to  have a sense of what makes us upset. Too often, we see and feel the signs of the onset of anger, but not having enough self-awareness, we miss all the cues until it is too late.

Think about it. What gets you all worked up? which things annoy you a little? What annoys you a lot?

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Not sure? Think of the last time you got angry. Do you remember why you got angry? What was the cause of your anger? Did that cause suddenly occur or did you see the warning signs? Can you recall if you were aware of the warning signs at that time? Did you ignore them?

Increasing self-awareness is challenging, and many young people opt to keep a journal so that they can document their thoughts and keep track of whatever enlightening thoughts they have about themselves. How will you increase your self-awareness?

Increase Self-Restraint

Among the teachings of the Quran and our beloved Prophet, the most relevant advice about controlling anger encourages self-restraint. Allah the Almighty describes the best of us as,

{…those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good} (Aal `Imran 3:134).

We must all strive not only to restrain our anger but to be ready to forgive and pardon those whose actions or words might have angered us. Indeed, we have three relevant teachings from Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His Book which is with Him on His Throne, ‘My Mercy overpowers My anger.‘” (Al-Bukhari)

The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself when in anger.” (Al-Bukhari)

The height of self-restraint, of course, is not to get angry to begin with. This is enjoined upon us by Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) in the following hadith:

A man said to the Prophet, “Advise me!” The Prophet said, “Do not get angry.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said each time, “Do not get angry.” (Al-Bukhari)

It is worthwhile to remember that peace, solace, and tranquility are the outcomes of the absence of anger, and it is therefore fitting that all of these teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) were narrated by a Companion known for his self-restraint, namely, Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him).

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