I tried my best, but balancing between work, studies, and Ramadan was super hard. I feel I got better in prayers, but to be honest I have not read the Quran much.
So I feel now guilty and so sad and anxious that I won’t make it to Paradise. Do you have any suggestion?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• There is nothing you can do to change what has already passed. However, that does not have to stop you achieving what you wanted to achieve in Ramadan.
• Setting very small goals like this, to begin with, will grant you the sense of connection and contentment that you achieved something.
• Learn for next Ramadan to be more realistic about what you can achieve amongst your other commitments.
• Write a daily plan.
Wa Alaikum salaam wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh,
This is a very common experience of many following Ramadan. We all enter Ramadan with grand plans about what will achieve during this holy month.
Then, daily life gets in the way and we cannot achieve half of what we set out to do. This can lead to feelings of frustration and spiritual disconnect.
These feelings then reinforce one another and can lead to a downward spiral in faith that takes time to build up again.
You may feel disappointed, but there is nothing you can do to change what has already passed.
However, that does not have to stop you achieving what you wanted to achieve in Ramadan.
It is not only during Ramadan that the Qur’an should be studied. It is a lifelong journey.
Regardless of how much you actually did in Ramadan, Allah saw your efforts and that is what matters the most.
So, from now, do not stop on the journey you began during Ramadan. Continue.
Make things easier on yourself by setting smaller and more achievable goals.
You know you have work and studies to complete too and these require your time.
So, rather than setting yourself big goals that you couldn’t realistically achieve with other commitments, make them small, even if it’s just a single verse a day.
Setting very small goals like this, to begin with, will grant you the sense of connection and contentment that you achieved something.
If you find you are comfortably achieving these small goals, then over time you can increase them.
You will find that with smaller goals you will be able to maintain motivation.
When you have big goals and struggle to achieve them, you will be more likely to give up on them altogether and abandon making any progress at all.
Check out this counseling video:
It is a gradual process that takes time and requires patience. The most important thing is to be consistent which is best achieved through a slow and steady pace.
Beyond this, as I said, you can’t bring back last Ramadan, but you can learn from it instead and use this to make next Ramadan a more valuable experience.
Inshallah, be more realistic about what you can achieve amongst your other commitments.
Write a daily plan of what you want to achieve. Follow the same routine as you have been leading up to Ramadan and make these goals smaller and if you have enough time then you can jump ahead and do more.
This will feel a lot more satisfying and go further to boosting your connection that aiming to achieve more than you can, given your circumstances.
May Allah reward your efforts to please Him and may He increase you in knowledge.
Amen,
***
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