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Disobedience To Parents: Will Allah Forgive & Cure Me?

12 November, 2022
Q I‘m a 16 year-old girl and unfortunately, since my childhood, I have always been very aggressive and disrespectful to my mother and my father. A couple of months ago, I would always shout at my parents and insult them whenever they shouted at me for doing something wrong. When I was very angry and sad, I would even hit my mother with a tool, and she had a mark or try to curse my parents by making bad dua. My parents have always told me that it is a great sin to be disrespectful to parents but for some reason I just didn't care until now, having read that it is a major sin to disobey one’s parents. Especially when my parents had arguments (and they often do, my father even used to hit my mother and make her cry and she would always curse him) I was really angry with my parents.

However, I have always loved my parents and they have never been really disappointed with me for a long time. They would always forgive me for being rude to them. So, in general, we do have a great relationship and we laugh a lot and are really happy together. Now, since a couple of months I feel really bad and cursed by Allah, for I have a big health issue and I feel like or I do strongly believe that this is a punishment by God for disobeying my parents for years, insulting them, cursing them, even hitting them a couple of times.

And now I feel really bad and guilty and have already asked Allah as well as my parents for forgiveness and my parents say I have always been a very nice son, but I know that I should never have behaved like that. Lately, I have been really frustrated and felt like being abandoned by Allah, wherefore I even started to become angry with God. But I know this is another major sin.

Will Allah forgive me and cure my illness (even if it‘s theoretically incurable) if my parents have forgiven me and if I keep asking Him for forgiveness? I feel very guilty and feel like having ruined my whole life just by being so rude to my parents and I regret it a lot. I try to do my best to respect my parents and stop being rude to them. Will the "curse" and punishment always last on me? I wish I had never insulted my parents this way, making Allah angry... I know Allah is very forgiving, but I think my sins were far too big to be forgiven.

Answer

If you grow up in a household where quarrels, disputes, and fights are frequent, you may model this behavior and act the same way in situations of conflict.

Even if you know that this is not right, it can be difficult to overcome it and learn more respectful ways to treat your parents.

What can you do?

Sincere repentance and asking the forgiveness of Allah and your parents is a good start. Trust in Him and in His forgiveness, then try to move on.

Click on the counseling video and listen to the full advice here.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.