My problem is that he treats both wives equally which makes me jealous a lot. We are not the same in anything (age, background, education, upbringing). I am a young person who wants to spend time with my husband but she keeps calling him and causing him distress and he usually used to ignore her before marriage but now he equally treats us both. I never questioned him for his money, property expenses and how much he spends there. But she shouts only if he buys me groceries.
I am really emotional and have a tiny heart. I always ask him why he loves his 2nd wife and why he married me. If I knew what marriage is and close and sensitive I would have never at first listened to my mom and married him.
Please guide me how to cure my heart.
I used to be such a positive up to life person but after marriage I am broke and not the same anymore. It’s not hard for me to accept the fact my husband has a wife and 5 kids but it's really hard to think he doesn't love me enough to spend himself and his time only for me. I am emotionally bothered by this too much. Note (he loves me a lot but when it comes to favor things, he always says no which I hate the most) because how come a person (2nd wife who is 26) and first wife aged 39 and having 5 kids can be the same (emotionally and mentally). This hurts me a lot. He doesn't know my age requirements and is always telling me his problems and stuff...please guide me in this matter.
If your husband does not favor you over his other wife, he is doing it right. Allah commanded equal treatment and justice for wives in a polygamous marriage.
Even if you are different in age, traits, and circumstances, you need to learn to deal with your hurt for not being the preferred one. How can you do that?
When you enter into a marriage, especially into polygny, your willingness and consent are very important. Especially if they differ from your family’s wishes.
Check out the counselor’s advice here.
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