I hope you are fine. I am failing in my life, in all of its aspect: family, love, friendship and career. Life has become very hard, and sometimes it feels like my heart has died.
Is there any cure for a diseased heart? I pray, but I am still waiting for a miracle. Will it ever be fine?
In this counseling answer:
- Increasing your acts of worship is an excellent way of curing a diseased heart as it will ensure that Allah (swt) is kept in mind as much as possible.
- Remember, for every failure you have, there is someone in a worse situation who would look to your situation and pray for it over what they have.
- When experiencing distress, it’s all too easy to completely forget all the blessings in your life, especially the small things that we take for granted – such as our five senses.
Wa ’Alaikum Salaam,
It can, indeed, be massively distressing if you feel like you are failing in every aspect of your life and feel hopeless whether things will ever change. The good news is that, in sha’ Allah, it absolutely can change. There are many ways by which you can mend such a situation, if only you are firm in your faith and willing to try and do so with patience and perseverance.
In order to cure a diseased heart, you need to increase your state of faith. Everyone’s level of faith fluctuates, even in the best of people. This can sometimes be difficult to begin with and will require effort on your part to allow this to happen.
But it will be worth once your faith is built to the point that you are content with all that Allah (swt) has blessed you with, and you will be more easily able to bear any trial that you may encounter.
Remember, for every failure you have, there is someone in a worse situation who would look to your situation and pray for it over what they have. So, whilst you might feel like things are not going so well in your own life, think of those who are facing worse, yet still coping and striving.
“Abu Hurairah (May allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (saw) said, ‘Look at those who are inferior to you and do not look at those who are superior to you, for this will keep you from belittling Allah’s Favour to you.’” (Sahih Muslim & Bukhari)
Appreciate your blessings
Appreciate the good things you have in your life. The good things that happen to you on a daily basis. When experiencing distress, it’s all too easy to completely forget all the blessings in your life, especially the small things that we take for granted – such as our five senses.
If you don’t have all five, at least you have your sight as you have written this message to us. There are many people who are blind, crying out to be able to see. This is just a very simple thing to think about that we can all apply to our lives, but it is likely that you have plenty of other blessings in your life to be grateful for.
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It may be that your career is not going well, but you still have a supportive family; or when you are having problems with your family, you are in a happy space in your relationship (friends or a spouse if you have one).
Either way, instead of focusing on those things that are currently not in a good space, remember that for those that are not going so well, there is always something else to be grateful for. There are numerous benefits of practicing gratitude that carry over into the Hereafter.
What would Allah do with your punishment if you are grateful and believe? And ever is Allah Appreciative and Knowing. (Qur’an 4:147)
A way you can encourage such positive thinking is to keep a gratitude journal, or very simply write 3 good things that happened in your day. Or if you’re not one to write, then simply recall 3 positive events from your day. A good time to do this is in bed, just before you sleep so you go to bed in a positive mindset.
As for the seemingly negative things in your life, difficult as they might be to cope with, Allah (swt), in His infinite wisdom, has the perfect reason why you face such tests. Whether you find out what the wisdom behind your tests are in this life or the next, you will eventually come to know. As difficult as it is to face tests, with patience and strong in faith, there are a huge amount of benefits such as expiation of your sins.
“Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri and Abu Huraira: The Prophet (saw) said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Bukhari)
You can be reassured that you will make it through and ultimately face ease from your trials.
“Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” (Qur’an, 94:6)
So, if you keep all these things in mind, it will make it a lot easier to bear any difficulty you face in the knowledge that behind every test is a reward or a benefit for you; therefore, worth enduring with patience and seeking this reward and the pleasure of Allah (saw).
Increasing your acts of worship is an excellent way of curing a diseased heart as it will ensure that Allah (swt) is kept in mind as much as possible. Ensure that everything you do in your day is for the sake of Allah, even down to eating. The more often you remember Allah (swt) in your daily life, the closer you will become to Allah (swt) and the more comforted you will feel.
You can try to increase your acts of worship such as praying, making du’aa’, reading the Qur’an, fasting, giving in charity, down to simply remembering to say ’Bismillah’ before you do anything such as eating.
“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah. Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” (Qur’an, 13:28)
So, you see, the more you remember Allah (swt), the more He (swt) will remember you and the softer your heart will become.
One final way to soften a heart is to engage in istighfar. Ask Allah (swt) for forgiveness, even for small things and the things you might do unintentionally. This will make you more humble before Allah (swt) in your desire for His forgiveness and to get closer to Him.
“O you who have believed, repent to Allah with sincere repentance. Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your misdeeds and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow [on] the Day when Allah will not disgrace the Prophet and those who believed with him. Their light will proceed before them and on their right; they will say, “Our Lord, perfect for us our light and forgive us. Indeed, You are over all things competent.” (Qur’an, 66:8)
May Allah (swt) bring you ease in your affairs and soften your heart that you will be able to bear His tests with patience.
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