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Am I Failing the Patience Test by Feeling Sad?

31 October, 2023
Q I know that we are encouraged to have beautiful patience while facing hardships. I also know that Allah tests us and tests our true faith and perseverance during these situations. But what if I felt really sad or cried or felt burdened, does this mean that I failed the patience test?


Assalamu Alaykum Dear Sister,

Thank you so much for sending this question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

Your question is very important indeed.

We need to clarify a few matters here.

Allah Created Life as a Test

Allah created life to test us and test our true faith to Him. As He said:

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Blessed is He in whose hand is dominion, and He is over all things competent. [He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed – and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran 67: 1-2)

And He also said what means:

Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident the liars. (Quran 29: 2-3)

What Patience Really Means

Allah says:

[…] Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account. (Quran 39:10)

And the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:

[…] And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience. [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

But, what does patience mean?

Patience doesn’t mean that you don’t feel sad or that you never cry. We are human and these feelings are natural.

Remember that Mary (peace be upon him)–who is one of the most noble and most pious role models of all times–when she was going through her hardship, also cried out to Allah out of the pain and difficulty that she was going through:

And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.” (Quran 19:23)

But the difference here is that she wasn’t angry at Allah and she didn’t start to fight and resent Him because of her difficulty or project her anger at Him.

The one who did that is actually Satan, when he said to Allah:

[Satan] said, “Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path.Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You]. (Quran 7:16-17)

Don’t Be Angry With Allah

So Satan’s attitude was one in which he projected his anger at Allah and vowed to disobey Him and misguide others.

This attitude and this anger at Allah and this hate and resentment is what we must not adopt. This is the ultimate failure.

Prophet Muhammad said:

The greatest reward comes with the greatest trial. When Allah loves a people He tests them. Whoever accepts that wins His pleasure but whoever is discontent with that earns His wrath. [Sunan Ibn Majah]

So you can complain to Allah like Mary did and you can ask for His Help, but do not complain about Him or project anger at Him and be angry with His decree.

At the end of the day, everything Allah does for His believing slaves is good for him/her.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him. [Muslim]

May Allah help you and facilitate all your affairs for you, and always remember that indeed with hardship will be ease, indeed with hardship will be ease.

I hope this helps answer your question.

Salam and please keep in touch.

(From AboutIslam’s archives)

Read more…

Contentment with Allah’s Decree


Trust in Allah Doesn’t Just Happen! Here is How to Develop It


Trust Allah; Know Your Creator

About Dina Mohamed Basiony
Dina Mohamed Basiony is a writer based in Cairo, Egypt. She specializes in Islam and spirituality. Dina holds an MA and BA in Journalism and Mass Communication from the American University in Cairo.