I was recently scammed with all my savings. I feel so stupid and now am struggling.
I was already on a low income and now I have also lost the amount I had saved.
I have also been restricted from many things from my family, which I feel like has caused me to suffer from anxiety. Due to being stressed financially I decided to take part in an investment where I was scammed.
It has left me with PTSD and I am unable to forget the event. I have not told my family members as I know they will be very disappointed and will not understand my point of view.
I have tried to accept it as a test from Allah but I keep facing money problems and I am unable to save. My job has less hours and I also only work term time.
I feel like giving up but I have to be financially independent. I don’t know what to do.
I keep making dua but I still get flashbacks all the time which makes me feel worse. I have tried to get that money back but was unable to as I was scammed by a professional fraudster who left no trace.
I feel so embarrassed and feel like I can’t tell anyone in my family as I will be just be considered stupid.
I understand that this is also my fault as there is more that I could have done such as research. But it happened so fast and in a way that I wouldn't have thought that I was being scammed.
This has made it very hard for me as it was a lump amount. The bank was also unable to help me and now my anxiety is worse due to this.
Please help me as I don’t know what to do. Jazakallah.
Answer
Salam Alaykom Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuh
Dear Sister,
Thank you for writing to me with your concern. You mentioned in your letter that you lost all your savings due to a financial scam which left you in a very complicated financial situation and caused you a lot of anxiety and distress. Also, that you are afraid of telling what happened to your family because you think they will “consider you stupid”.
I am so sorry about your situation; may Allah ease your distress and provide you tranquility regarding your loss!
I would like you to know that after this disappointing situation is completely normal, that you need some time to recover, and you keep thinking about what happened over and over again. You might know this verse of the Quran:
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient” (Quran 2:155)
“Give good tidings to the patient” – patience is the key, dear Sister.
I would kindly advise you to accept the fact that you were not cautious enough and that made you lose your savings BUT you gained an important lesson from this story that will help you to choose more trustful dealings and persons next time in Sha Allah.
Reflecting upon your letter, I would recommend you the following things:
Remorse instead of guilt
It seems that you are completely aware that you have committed an error – alhamdulillah feeling your own responsibility is a very good sign. This does not mean that you have to feel guilty for making a mistake – everyone does.
Rather feeling remorse could indicate that you have repented your decision and you are ready not to fall in the same trap again.
Turning to Allah for forgiveness will ease your stress, also, if you are able to accept your fault and forgive yourself. Make firm intention about change: remember Allah’s words in the Quran:
“That is because Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves. And indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing.” (Quran 8:53)
So, I kindly ask you to change your perspective and look at things from an angle that may provide you acceptance and ease.
There are two important things to ponder upon:
Allah is ar – Razzaq
He is the ultimate provider of sustenance. He decides about our livelihood.
Besides, in one authentic hadith (Sahih al-Bukhari) the Prophet (peace be upon him) related that from the 4 things written for each soul while still in the womb of their mother one is their livelihood.
This means that no matter what we do, our financial situation is already decided by Allah, so put your full trust in Him and know that He will provide for you.
You can recite the following beautiful dua:
“O Allah, I ask You for knowledge that is of benefit, a good provision, and deeds that will be accepted.” (Allāhumma innī as’aluka `ilman nāfi`a, wa rizqan ṭayyiba, wa `amalan mutaqabbala.) Hisn al-Muslim 95
If not halal, no blessings
Allah could only bless our dealings if they are lawful according to the laws of Islam. If not, there is no barakah.
So, I kindly suggest to you dear Sister to keep away from further business dealings and jobs that are shaky or unclear and seem to drive you through the “fast but dark road”. If you do not have certainty about the correctness of your investments, or your business partners, better leave them.
Instead:
· You may consult with a scholar or a halal financial adviser – they can advise you and help you navigate to find financial solutions that are in line with Sharia.
· Also, try to approach your dealings with pure intentions, for the sake of Allah and do istikhara before making decisions in the future.
Family and emotional support
I think that one of the other reasons behind your anxiety is that you feel that you cannot share your struggle with your family. And not having trust and emotional support from them can further cause existential stress.
You mention that the reason to take part in this investment was due to financial stress, because your family restricted you from many things and you are on a low income. Also mention that you “have to be” independent financially, and “they will not understand your point of view”.
This indicates to me that there might be some kind of ongoing disagreement and conflict between you and your family.
Why do they not support you neither financially nor emotionally? The reasons are financial or you might lead a lifestyle that is not acceptable for them?
I do not know the details regarding this, but I think it would be very important to reestablish a good relationship with them.
I encourage you to try to settle peace with them, and have a good relationship.
Having the support of your closed ones could definitely help you alleviate your stress. You do not mention the possible reasons behind, but it would be important to create this supportive atmosphere.
Family bonds are important, and if things are not resolved between you, further difficulties may appear. If you are afraid of their negative reaction, just remember, that they also surely had committed errors in their life, and that through mistakes we learn and grow.
Techniques to reduce anxiety
I would also recommend some practical coping techniques that can reduce anxiety: breathing exercises (try to take slow, deep breaths while counting slowly from 10 back until 1), walk in nature, avoid too much tea and coffee, etc.
If your stress and anxiety are prolonged, and as high as that causes you difficulties in your everyday life, please turn to a mental health professional.
You can turn to a counselor who could help you overcome this stressful time; and check whether you need further treatment.
Financial struggle may not be an obstacle, please, ask in your community, whether there are affordable or voluntary mental health services.
I ask Allah to ease your situation soon!
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
📚 Read Also: I’m 14 & Constantly Feel Anxious
📚 Read Also: I Have Lost All My Bank Savings!