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I Eat a Lot When Emotional Distress Comes

13 November, 2016
Q Salam Aleykum, I am hoping to get some guidance from you. I am diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder, which means in times of great emotional distress, I am consuming big amounts of food to cope and get rid of negative feelings. I am currently waiting for an open space in one on one therapy. Like any other disorders of that kind, I never spoke to anyone about my problem, although it started in my early teens and I only had the courage to let my husband know (as the first person and before seeking help) roughly a year after we got married. His reaction back then was disappointing and disheartening, 'Okay, we will get you a shrink then. It's not like you have cancer.' Until today, almost a year after I came clean, he doesn't have any understanding of the whole issue and just keeps on repeating that I have to do something about it, and I just need a strong will which is putting additional pressure on me.I also don't know the Islamic point of view towards eating disorders and how to deal with them. May you please advise?

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu ‘Alaikum sister,

I am very happy to hear you are on a waiting list for therapy as it is critical that you receive the help you need. While I am not an Islamic scholar, Binge Eating Disorder is a classified psychiatric disorder, as you know, and, therefore, should be treated as any other illness.

I am also amazed that you are so candid about your disclosure to your husband as well as candid about your needs. You should be proud of yourself.

I am sorry, however, that he is not as supportive as he should be. Perhaps, he lacks the educational component of BED and its seriousness. If you are being followed by a doctor until you get into treatment, perhaps your husband can come on one of your doctor’s visits and have the doctor fully explain BED to him (if he hasn’t already). I would also suggest, dear sister, that you seek out a BED Support group in your area. If there isn’t one, perhaps you may want to start one.

As you know, women with BED usually live silently with the disorder. A support group, which is in a confidential and safe place, may appeal to others looking for support from those who can truly relate and understand what they are going through. As I do not know where you live, I cannot recommend any Support Groups; however, you can find them on the internet, or look up MeetUp.com and put in BED. This will give you the support you need, in sha’ Allah, until your space is open for therapy. There are also BED support groups which meet online rather in a face to face setting. I found one here.

Until your treatment begins, please do not let your husband make you feel bad or guilty. I know this is hard, but rationally, you know about the disorder, its effects as well as its difficulties. Do seek Allah’s (swt) guidance, dear sister, make du’aa’ that He (swt) restores your health and grants you ease. You sound like a very intelligent young woman, and I am confident that once in treatment, you will overcome BED.

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I hope this has helped some. If you still have questions about Islamic rulings, please write to our “Ask the Scholar” section. You are in our prayers. We wish you the best.

Salam,

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.