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Seems to be Reticent…How to Help Him Communicate?

06 June, 2023
Q My fiancé and I love each other and planning to get married. Of course, we are taking one step at a time. He is from Senegal. I am from Jamaica. We live and met in New York. My only concern with him is he doesn’t communicate his feelings and stonewalls. He then goes silent. It bothers me and I feel ignored. How can I get him to open up and be vulnerable with me? Or is this a cultural thing?

Answer

Aisha Mohammad
06 June, 2023

Cultural differences and expectations exist in communication styles. Also, some people prefer to take some time before responding to situations.

However, others might feel vulnerable and unsafe talking about feelings and opening up, so they can’t express themselves, even in close relationships.

He might get triggered by some topics that are too sensitive for him.

What can you do?

Find a calm moment when he is in a good mood and talk about your differences in communication styles.

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Also, tell him how it makes you feel when he shuts down. Offer your help instead of asking him the reasons behind it.

What else can you do? Check out the full advice here.

Read more:

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DISCLAIMER
Views expressed by hosts/guests on this program (live dialogue, Facebook sessions, etc.) are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. 

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.