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I Molested Young Girls; I Feel Guilty

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Mar 03, 2019

Question

Salam. I pray, read the Quran, give charity, and I am kind to my mom. I can't stop looking at the opposite sex. I am disabled and can't marry (due to low income). I am ashamed to say, but I sexually molested some younger girls in the past. What should I do? Will I be forgiven? If I marry someone, can I keep it a secret?

Counselor

Answer


I Molested Young Girls; I Feel Guilty

In this counseling answer:

• The main barrier is that you sexually molested young girls in the past. That is an extremely serious issue and I cannot recommend that you seek marriage at this time due to this.

• Repent and seek forgiveness from Allah for molesting those young girls if you have not already.

• I kindly suggest brother that you, first of all, seek counseling.


As Salam Alaykum brother,

Thank you for writing to us. Brother, as you are 36 years old, it is normal for you to be looking at the opposite sex. While you’re not supposed to be looking at women in a haram way, it is less your body telling you that you need to be married. However, I think you already know this.

You stated that you can’t marry due to your low income. In certain circumstances, that should not be a barrier to marriage. While yes, the husband is supposed to provide for his wife, there are certain situations wherein couples can agree to support each other. This would be ideal if your situation were different. You seem like a really good brother, you stated that you pray, and read Qur’an, you give charity, and your kind to your mom.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

You are also disabled. That should not be a barrier to marriage either. While a low income and certain disabilities may make getting married harder, it most certainly is not a complete barrier. With Allah, anything is possible.


Check out this counseling video:


The main barrier here brother is that you sexually molested young girls in the past. That is an extremely serious issue and I cannot recommend that you seek marriage at this time due to this. The fact that you would ask to keep it a secret is bothersome. Especially if you have children or the woman you marry has children from a previous marriage. While we are not to broadcast our sins, there are certain conditions which require the insurance of children’s safety.

I kindly suggest brother that you, first of all, seek counseling. I am not sure if you’ve had counseling in the past or not, however being that you can’t stop looking at the opposite sex, you probably do want to get married, and you have a history of molesting young girls – counseling is a must.

Brother, if you were low income and disabled only I would be encouraging you to seek marriage. But I am instead encouraging you to seek counseling due to the molestation in the past. While your question was rather short and there are many questions left unanswered, I can only hope that the molestation of young girls did not continue and has not become a pattern.

I kindly suggest that you do repent and seek forgiveness from Allah for molesting those young girls if you have not already. Allah is most merciful brother and he loves to forgive, and he forgives all sins except for shirk upon death. While your sins are forgiven by Allah, you still need to get counseling as human nature is prone to sin.

Oftentimes men who molest children don’t stop. The feelings to molest children continue and more children become victims. I am not saying you will molest young girls again, but that is the danger and that is why a recommendation for counseling is needed.

Please, do follow up with counseling brother.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Does Disability Prevent Marriage?

Should We Talk about Sexual Harassment Among Muslims?

Overcoming the Consequences of Childhood Sexual Abuse




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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