My youngest daughter keeps telling me to take off the hijab so that people will not judge me. My heart is sad because I believe a faithful servant to Allah should not fail in such situations; he/she should stand strong in such hard times. I sometimes feel very lost and then I pray to Allah for courage. I really need some advice in dealing with this situation. Please tell me how can I get through to my children. Thank you.
In this counseling answer:
•Keep on telling them, but use more actions than words. Let them see what Islam is in your actions, and gradually they may come to Islam by Allah’s mercy and guidance.
•Keep making du`aa’ as well. It is a good sign that they fasted in Ramadan, so work with them in small ways. Perhaps you could stop telling them about Islam for a little while.
•As time passes, include your messages to them when you speak about your own experiences.
My dear sister, may Allah reward you for your patience and your desire to fulfill your duty to Him. Rest assured, no soul receives a burden more than it can bear, and Allah is Ever-Close and He always hears the call of His servants who call on Him.
I would like to advise you to be patient; know that Allah is with the patient, so do not be discouraged, for Allah is All-Powerful. He tests us to show us our true potential, to see what we are capable of, and for us to realize how sincere we really are when we say we love Him and want to serve Him.
Regarding your job, do not remove your hijab for the sake of finding work. Be patient, for this—like many other things in life—is a test from Allah. As you focus on what Allah wants, and you are patient, Allah will reward you, not only in this life but also in the next.
Simply remember the test of Prophet Ayyub (peace and blessings be upon him), who lost everything he once had and was stricken with leprosy as well. He was a Prophet of Allah, yet he was patient because he knew it was a test from Allah.
Allah tests His servants whom He loves to allow them to draw closer to Him. So look at this as your opportunity to become closer to Allah.
Concerning your daughters, I would advise you again to be patient. Sometimes, when we know how good something is, our natural inclination is to want those whom we love to have it as well; the problem is they may not be ready to accept it. In this case, your encouragement to your daughters may simply just put them off.
Keep on telling them, but use more actions than words. Let them see what Islam is in your actions, and gradually they may come to Islam by Allah’s mercy and guidance. Keep making du`aa’ as well. It is a good sign that they fasted in Ramadan, so work with them in small ways.
Perhaps you could stop telling them about Islam for a little while. As time passes, include your messages to them when you speak about your own experiences. If you want them to know something, just mention it as it pertains to you, or how you dealt with something or the way you thought about something.
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With regards to your job, let them see that while work is important, your relationship with your Creator is even more important. If you do not live to please the One Who Gives Sustenance, then you will have lost and become distracted by the things of this world.
It is natural to feel sad; it is a human emotion. However, do not lose hope. Remember when the disbelievers of Quraysh imposed economic sanctions on the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and they tried to break him and his message, but Allah was always there.
Remember the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) to Abu Bakr when they were in the cave hiding—that he should not fear because they are two and Allah is the third. Allah is always with you and will answer your prayers.
Keep making du`aa’ and Tahajjud (optional late night Prayers), as well as Duha Prayers (optional morning prayers), and give in charity either from your wealth or your time. Allah will bless you and make you successful in this life and the next, in sha’ Allah.
And Allah knows best.
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