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Ex-Wife Against Teaching Islam to My Daughter

12 January, 2022
Q I am a divorced father who has remarried. I am a Muslim and my wife is too.

What do I do when my wife and I try to teach my daughter about Islam and my ex-wife tells my daughter not to listen to me?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Continue teaching your daughter about Islam.

•Discuss with her the fact that you and her mother do not have the same religious values, but that as her father you will continue to teach her about Islam.

•Please do make your time with your daughter fun, joyful, and meaningful.

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•Take her to the Masjid and Islamic events.

•As Ramadan is coming soon, this is a perfect time for her to experience all of our Islamic devotions as well as festivities.


As salamu alaykum dear brother,

Thank you for writing to us.

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You stated that you are divorced, and you did remarry. You are Muslim and so is your wife.

You also have a daughter by your ex-wife and you and your new wife teach her about Islam. May Allah bless you brother for all your efforts.

Ex Wife Interfering with Islamic Teachings

Concerning teaching your daughter, sadly, your ex-wife tells your daughter not to listen to you concerning Islam.

Brother this is a common conflict when people get divorced and one of the parents is not Muslim. Perhaps your ex-wife really does not like Islam, or perhaps she is jealous that you remarried and is trying to use this against you.  Whatever the reason, it is devious.

Communication

I’m not sure how old your daughter is, but I will kindly advise you insha’Allah, to continue teaching her about Islam as well as address the conflict of communication coming from your ex-wife.

You may wish to discuss the importance of Islam and the blessings of being Muslim.

You may also insha’Allah, (depending on her age) wish to discuss with her the fact that you and her mother do not have the same religious values.

But that as her father you will continue to teach her about Islam and hope that she will follow this path, which is the right path.

Ex-Wife Against Teaching Islam to My Daughter - About Islam

A Position of Strength and Dedication

When speaking to your daughter, whatever you do please do not put down her mother’s views.

I am sure that you don’t, but I must mention it as it is easy to let little things slip. That will only cause a bigger problem.

I know this is hard because your ex-wife is basically telling your daughter not to listen to you, as well as telling her not to follow Islam.

This is a very serious matter, so it is hard not to say something that is contrary.

However, it is best to approach the matter from an Islamic perspective when your daughter is with you, which includes guiding her in the right direction and discussing the differences of views in a way she can understand.

Your daughter will respect your position insha’Allah and see you coming from a position of dedication and strength.

Conclusion

Brother, please do make your time with your daughter fun, joyful, and meaningful.

Take her to the Masjid and Islamic events.  As Ramadan is coming soon, this is a perfect time for her to experience all of our Islamic devotions as well as festivities.


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Introduced her to other girls her age and help her to begin to develop friendships.

Insha’Allah she will develop a connection and love as well for Allah and our prophet (PBUH).

If she develops love in her heart for Allah swt, nothing can dissuade her- not even your ex-wife.

What you are doing brother is planting little seeds in her which insha’Allah will grow. Make duaa to Allah to help you guide her.

Ask Allah to protect your daughter from those who try to pull her away at such a tender young age.

We wish you the best, you are in our prayers.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.