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My Pregnant Wife in a Bad Mood, How to Deal with Her?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jul 11, 2019

Question

As-salamu alaikum, I am a newly married brother Alhamdulillah! My wife is pregnant and already in her second trimester of pregnancy, Alhamdulillah! But sometimes her moods change and start to crash my mood as well. I would love it if you can enlighten me how I can change the negative energy (probably caused by the pregnancy) into a positive one. Because, whenever she has a bad mood I also show the same face and ultimately the house seems to be boring and I prefer to leave the house and go to meet my friends. I know that there is a way of changing the bad mood she’s having into a good one but I don’t know how to bring that, I need help for that. I want my house to be a happy home for me and my wife. Thank you.

Counselor

Answer


My Pregnant Wife in a Bad Mood, How to Deal with Her?

In this counseling answer:

•Supporting her and showing her that you care by being there for her, checking in on how she’s feeling, you will be better able to understand exactly what it is that is causing the mood changes.

•This way you will have better insight as to why her moods are the way they are, but she will also know that you care enough to ask and be concerned about her.”


Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

Masha Allah, congratulations on marriage and expecting a child. May Allah bring you happiness in your marriage and bless you with a righteous child.

Pregnancy can lead to mood changes for several reasons and being aware of these reasons is the best place to start to understand your wife’s situation more and make it easier for you to manage the situation that you are having difficulty with right now.

Firstly, physiologically her body is going through many changes, both hormonally and physically as she prepares to deliver a new life into this world. The hormones will be having an effect on her mood and the physical changes might be bringing her some discomfort as she faces the pains associated with pregnancy.

karim serageldin & naaila clay

Secondly, psychologically she is now facing the prospect of becoming a mother for the first time. Becoming a parent creates big life changes. Suddenly you become responsible for raising another life, which is a massive responsibility, you will suddenly have a lot less time for yourself as you prioritise the care of you child, but at the same time, you feel grateful for the opportunity and blessed to have been given a child. These changing emotions of fear, happiness and excitement are enough to cause mood swings without even considering the physiological symptoms too.

The question is, how can you change these negative energies into positive ones. Well, based on what I have just said about her experiences during pregnancy, there are a number of things you can consider.

Support her

Leaving the home like you say  might make her feel like you are not supporting her during this challenging time and this might only contribute to her mood changes. By supporting her and showing her that you care by being there for her, checking in on how she’s feeling, you will be better able to understand exactly what it is that is causing the mood changes. This way you will have better insight as to why her moods are the way they are, but she will also know that you care enough to ask and be concerned about her.

Exercise together

Exercise is good for the physical symptoms that she might be experiencing. Even if she is not having any, gentle exercise is useful to prepare her body for delivery and give her the strength to face it well. Exercise is also know to nurture the production of hormones that can boost the mood, which could work well for her mood changes. It is also a good opportunity to spend some time together in the outdoors.

Plan together

Read about the process of pregnancy and how to prepare for bringing a child into the world. This is something that you can do together. This way you will understand more about what she is going through and will be better prepared to support her and you can collaborate in ensuring you have made all the preparations for when she delivers so that things will run as smoothly as possible when the baby arrives. Again, she will feel supported by such actions which will result in a more positive mood.

Pray together

Do not forget to pray to Allah for a healthy child that will be righteous and good to their parents. Doing this together could help strengthen your bond with each other and together with Allah.

If you can implement these strategies, then in sha Allah you could find that she will feel more happy and when she is in a negative mood you will be better equipped to manage it.

May Allah bring you peace and contentment in your marriage and grant you a righteous child who will be the coolness of you and your wife’s eyes.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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