Forced to be Pregnant, Now I Want Abortion!

31 January, 2020
Q I have been married for 2 years and am currently 8 weeks pregnant. My husband forced me to get pregnant and now he wants a divorce, he is aware I'm pregnant. I wanted to know if an abortion is acceptable in this situation as I was forced to become pregnant and don't know how I will cope by myself if I go through with the pregnancy.?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Whether your husband chooses to divorce you or not, he is still responsible for taking care of you during pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding and for the child also.

•Make sure to attend all your antenatal appointments where the doctors and midwives will be able to provide further support and even direct you to the necessary services to get extra support.

•Turning to people who have been through pregnancy before you will be well placed to get advice from those experienced in pregnancy who will be a great help for you.

•You will also find online pregnancy support groups and forums if you feel a little shy in public gatherings. Again, these will provide you with the comfort and support that many women desire during pregnancy.


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

It is very unfortunate that something so difficult has come out of such a blessing. Pregnancy and giving birth come with a multitude of blessings, but without the support of your husband, it has made the situation very difficult for you. Islamically, abortion is not acceptable unless the mother’s life is at severe risk, which in your case, whilst your husband is making things difficult, this does not endanger your life.

Whether your husband chooses to divorce you or not, he is still responsible for taking care of you during pregnancy and whilst breastfeeding and for the child also. So, from this perspective, regardless of whether you get divorced or not, if he is a good man, acting in line with Islamic teachings he is obliged to take care of the financial aspect of things, leaving you with one less thing to worry about.

Forced to be Pregnant, Now I Want Abortion! - About Islam

Aside from the financial aspects, pregnancy comes with many physical and emotional challenges also. If your husband is not there to support you then don’t be shy to get support from friends and family.

Turning to people who have been through pregnancy before you will be well placed to get advice from those experienced in pregnancy who will be a great help for you.

Even if you have friends that haven’t yet had children they can provide you with the psychological support that a woman needs as she faces the changes experienced during pregnancy.


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Furthermore, They will have all this local information available and will have almost certainly come across women in very similar situations to your own. They will complete regular checks to monitor your own and the babies health throughout pregnancy as well as informing you on what to expect at each stage and how to prepare for life as a new mum.

They will be able to direct you to local support groups also where you can meet with other ladies facing the same challenges of pregnancy as you are. It is always reassuring to know that someone else is feeling the same as you as well as getting tips on how to manage the same.

You will also find online pregnancy support groups and forums if you feel a little shy in public gatherings. Again, these will provide you with the comfort and support that many women desire during pregnancy.

However, as well as the challenges, there are many more blessings also. Pregnancy in itself is a miracle, so make sure to savour and enjoy each moment as many women say they miss the feeling of growing a baby inside them once they are born. Even amongst any discomfort you face, there are many rewards from Allah for enduring them.

In fact, even on the days when you don’t feel any discomfort Allah rewards you and forgives your sins simply for being pregnant.

Also, remember that there are many women who are unable to have children at all despite the strong desire to have them. For many years they will try only not be given the same blessing that has been bestowed on you, so even though your circumstances are far from ideal, you have been blessed in a way that many are not.

Salam

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Not Happy to Be Pregnant, I Want Abortion!

https://aboutislam.net/counseling/ask-about-parenting/young-hearts-minds/committed-zina-will-child/

About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)