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My Toddler Screams and Cries About Everything!

12 February, 2021
Q I have a two-year-old boy. My problem is that my son is always screaming and crying.

Whenever he wants anything, even if he wants to drink, he asks for this by crying.

This makes the atmosphere at our home very tense. I don’t know what to do. Can you please help me?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•As long as your son is healthy, not hurting or sick, there is nothing wrong with letting him cry or scream for a few minutes.

•Let him scream and cry in order to train him up in a proper manner. Once he re-learns how to communicate this should cease.


As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry to hear about the problem you are having with your little boy. Often children will use the mode of communication which gets the best and fastest results! Apparently, he has discovered that crying brings the quickest response.

I would kindly suggest that when he begins to cry, ask him “what”? Ask him to verbalize “tell me what?”.

If he continues to cry, prompt him by saying “drink”? If he nods tell him “say “drink” . If he says “drink” (or whatever the case may be) then give him the drink.

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If he continues to cry, withhold the drink until he verbalizes what he wants.
This will take much persistence, consistency and lots of patience on your part but it will be worth it in the long run.

Once your son gets use to the idea that crying will not bring him results but talking will, insha’Allah you will see a decrease in the crying and an increase in his verbal responses.

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As long as your son is healthy, not hurting or sick, there is nothing wrong with letting him cry or scream for a few minutes.

You will need to do this, to let him scream and cry in order to train him up in a proper manner. Once he re-learns how to communicate this should cease.

It is my feeling that he is a very loved little guy who just got use to getting whatever he wanted by just a cry, whimper or scream since he was very tiny.

Now that he is older, it has intensified and will take some work on your part (and the family) to undo this unsavory habit.

Insha’Allah, in time a sweet little boy will emerge who asks and communicates his needs through more appropriate measures.

We wish you the best, you are in out prayers.

Salam

***

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.