Answer
Short Answer: Since you are in the position of a wife, I would urge you to be careful in how you treat this issue. This is because, in certain Muslim cultures around the globe, in which patriarchy is rampant and Islam is not followed as much as cultural ethos, a wife’s efforts to advise her husband and convince him to give up morally wrong habits can backfire. So I would advise you to be careful not to raise your voice at your husband, or to nag him so much that he begins to dread coming home to you. Instead, make the home a relaxing place for him, and make sure that you pray all your prayers on time. Keep making dua for him. Try to become the person that your husband secretly looks up to & admires, turns to first for advice, and seeks out for company. He might notice that it is your faith in Islam and salah that makes you such an admirable person, which might eventually guide him to pray all the 5 prayers on time, Allah willing, and to do even further good deeds. However, this will take time and patience, sister.
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Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
May Allah reward you, sister, for your genuine and sincere concern for your husband’s eternal well-being and salvation — that of the Hereafter.
Please continue the good efforts that you are already making viz. making dua for his guidance and reminding him respectfully about the importance of performing salah & following the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Guidance is From Allah
Guidance is from Allah, and we can only invite towards the way of our Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching, whether it is non-Muslims we are addressing, or born Muslims who suffer from weak faith and shaky practice of Islamic obligations.
You mentioned in your question, “I don’t understand how I’m supposed to make him pray salah”, which is what I wanted to point out to you, sister, that you can not.
Only an inner surge of true faith inspired by Allah, and based upon a strong connection of the heart with Him, can “make” any believing human being submit to Allah and pray salah.
We, as fellow Muslims/human beings, can only try to do the best dawah we can: convey the message, gently remind, act upon Islam ourselves, and invite them to do the same. The rest we leave to Allah.
Be Careful and Wise
Since you are in the position of a wife, I would urge you to be careful in how you treat this issue.
This is because, in certain Muslim cultures around the globe, in which patriarchy is rampant and Islam is not followed as much as cultural ethos, a wife’s efforts to advise her husband and convince him to give up morally wrong habits can backfire.
So I would advise you to be careful not to raise your voice at your husband, or to nag him so much that he begins to dread coming home to you.
Instead, make the home a relaxing place for him, and make sure that you pray all your prayers on time.
Keep making dua for him.
You can request him to take you for umrah, if he ever offers to take you on a vacation.
You can also play in the car, with his permission, CD’s of beneficial Islamic lectures about repentance and salah, when you go out somewhere with him.
Just remember to keep the dose of da’wah as low and gentle as to not make him angry and defiant.
Most men do not like to be around a nagging wife. You have to be careful not to make him feel as if you are talking down to him.
A Good Example
If your marriage is still young, you should adopt the sunnah way of good conduct: patience, politeness, constancy, gentleness, & obedience in all permissible matters, in order to win over the heart of your husband.
Try to become the person that your husband secretly looks up to & admires, turns to first for advice, and seeks out for company.
Try to gain positive influence over him over time, since it is this influence that could become the secret key to guiding him to begin praying salah.
He might notice that it is your faith in Islam and salah that makes you such an admirable person, which might eventually guide him to pray all the 5 prayers on time, Allah willing, and to do even further good deeds.
However, this will take time and patience, sister.
Remember that Allah never allows even an iota of sincerity and righteous actions of any believer to go to waste.
I ask Allah to grant you patience and reward for enduring this trial. Amen.
And Allah knows best. I hope that this answers your questions.
Salam. Please stay in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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