Short Answer: The best remedy for a Muslim man or woman who loves someone, is for the two to get married to each other. Pray istikharah and trust Allah. You can also talk to your parents about your desire to marry this man, and if they agree, a serious marriage proposal can be negotiated by them. There is nothing wrong with a girl’s parents initiating a proposal.
Wa Alaykum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Dear Sister,
Thank you for contacting us with your question.
The best remedy for a Muslim man or woman who loves someone is for the two to get married to each other.
Ibn Abbas narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.” (Ibn Majah)
So yes, in answer to your first question, you can ask Allah to marry you to this person whom you love.
The Best Supplication
The best dua that I can suggest for you in this regard, is the dua of istikharah.
In this dua, a Muslim asks Allah to decree for them something if it is beneficial for them, and to turn that same thing away from them if it is not.
They then ask Allah to decree some other good for them, where ever else it might be, and to make them pleased with it.
No other dua can be better in the matter of marriage than the dua of istikharah.
No human being, no matter how wise they might be, and how thoroughly they might investigate and make plans, can ever predict the future success and longevity of a marriage.
Istikharah is the best dua that a Muslim can recite when praying to their Lord, when and if they want to marry someone.
Secondly, I can’t tell from your question whether or not you communicate with, talk to, or look with desire at this man whom you wish to marry.
If you do any of these things, please be warned that they are impermissible (haram), as they make the heart get diseased and corrupted.
Allah will not hold you accountable for developing romantic feelings in your heart for a Muslim brother.
If this is the case, and you admire his piety and admirable qualities you have heard that’s no problem.
However, if you desire to have him reciprocate your feelings and to make you his wife, you will be questioned about any unnecessary/frank communication with him, or gazing at him, which you do as a result of these feelings.
Prevent Yourself From Daydreaming
Thirdly, you should try to keep yourself involved in productive studies or work.
This will help you to prevent yourself from daydreaming about your future with this man, and mulling over this matter so much that it starts affecting you adversely.
Unrequited love during youth is one of the greater trials that any single Muslim could be afflicted with.
You can, however, talk to your parents about your desire to marry this man. If they agree, a serious marriage proposal can be negotiated by them.
There is nothing wrong with a girl’s parents initiating a proposal.
In that case, if all your istikharah prayers and your sincere efforts to negotiate a marriage with this person (through your family) end up in vain, believe with firm conviction in your heart that Allah turned this man away from you, and you away from him, because he was not good for you and vice versa.
Recall that Allah loves you more than you even know.
He has responded to your dua of istikharah by turning him away from you.
Because he is averting from you that which is not good for you.
In this case, Allah is planning to bless you with a husband who is even better, insha’Allah.
I ask Allah to grant you the blessing of fulfilling halal love through marriage that does not abate with time.
May Allah’s blessings be upon you both. Ameen.
I hope that this answers your question.
Allah knows best. Please keep in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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