How Can I Stop Backbiting with School Mates?

03 September, 2018
Q Assalamulaikum wa rehmatullahi wabarkatuhu, I'm Saba, a final year student from India. How can I stop backbiting? I know backbiting is one of the major sins, but I am unable to control myself. As I'm residing at a hostel far away from my hometown and I spend most of my time with my colleagues. We are used to gossiping about others. I don't want do that. Still I can't resist. Please help me. For Allah's sake, how can I stop backbiting? Will Allah forgive me for this sin though I know am still continuing? Please help me to improve my IMAAN. JAZAK ALLAH KHAIR

Answer

Short Answer: Backbiting is alien to Islam. Islam promotes brotherhood and care for others, whilst backbiting seeks to destroy and it is considered one of the most destructive of major sins. In order to backbite, you need to have others to talk to and to listen to what you are saying. If these friends are the people who are backbiting with you, then you may need to find other friends. Have you all talked about it together and looked at ways you can stop?

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Wa Alaykum Assalm wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh Saba,

Thank you for contacting Ask About Islam with your question.

As a student, your main concern at the moment is your studies, especially as this is your final year. Have you not considered how much of your own time and energy you waste when backbiting?

You know that backbiting is wrong. In the Quran we read:

{And why did you not, when you heard it, say “It is not right of us to speak of this: Glory to Allah, this is a most serious slander?”} (24:16)

And in another place, it says:

{O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the One who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.} (49:12)

So, if you know it is wrong, what can you do?

Well, first of all, it depends on how serious you are in wanting to stop. In order to backbite, you need to have others to talk to and to listen to what you are saying.

If these friends are the people who are backbiting with you, then you may need to find other friends. Have you all talked about it together and looked at ways you can stop?

Have you all tried a system where each one has to pay a forfeit each time she backbites?

This needs to be something serious and must be enforced. It isn’t a game or a joke.

If none of this works, then you will have to walk away from these people. You can try fasting as a way of disciplining yourself. You should certainly pray about it.

Backbiting is alien to Islam. Islam promotes brotherhood and care for others, whilst backbiting seeks to destroy and it is considered one of the most destructive of major sins.

Finally, none of us is perfect and there is plenty people could be saying about us, too.

Seek Allah’s forgiveness then. He is the one who accepts repentance.

I hope this helps answer your question.

Salam and please keep in touch.

(From Ask About Islam archives)

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Pathway to Paradise – Avoiding Gossip

I Shall Guard the Fingers that Hit the Keyboard

Great Advice from Prophet Muhammad to the Youth

Muslim Youth Survival Kit

 

 

About Idris Tawfiq
Idris Tawfiq was a British writer, public speaker and consultant.

He became a Muslim around 15 years ago.

For many years, he was head of religious education in different schools in the United Kingdom.

Before embracing Islam, he was a Roman Catholic priest.

He passed away in peace in the UK in February 2016 after a period of illness.

May Allah (SWT) have mercy on him, and accept his good deeds. Ameen.