Answer
In this counseling post:
- Talk to a counselor more in depth about these feelings to see what kind of beliefs are behind them.
- If your parents have any form of conflict, it is something that they need to solve, even if the conflict is related to you, their daughter.
- Trust in Allah and turn to Him in your prayers.
Salam alaikom dear sister,
Thank you for writing to us and sharing your struggle. From your letter, it seems that you are emotionally affected to a greater extent and that you are struggling with your family.
You are feeling lonely, and you feel that they do not give you attention.
While you haven’t said exactly what bothers you, you did express some of your needs quite clearly, masallah: you want to grow, to learn a lot of things, and you need peace.
Talking About Your Needs
So, my question is, dear sister, have you tried to talk to them about these needs? Do they know what you would like to do and what plans you have for yourself?
And if so, what are the obstacles you face?
It would be good if you could discuss with them what bothers you and what makes you feel fed up with them.
If you feel that they do not give you attention, it is understandable that that makes you feel lonely, even if you are an adult lady.
It can lead to a wide variety of feelings, for example, not feeling loved and worthy. Check this out: Do You Love Your Self ? Let’s Find Out!
So, what I would suggest is to express your feelings to them, but with a focus on what you need and not what they do wrong. They might not know that their behavior makes you feel lonely and makes you want to run away.
Talk to a Counselor
It would also be good if you could talk to a counselor more in depth about these feelings to see what kind of beliefs are behind them.
Also, it would be helpful to see whether there are some mental health issues behind it.
So, please, try to seek counseling and talk to someone who can lead a discussion about this with you.
You can also try a trustworthy community member or friend who knows you and your family and can mediate between you and them.
And there is something else that caught my attention. You wrote that if you run away, their marriage (your parents) will be at stake.
What exactly does this mean? Do they have problems in their marriage? Or do they have some disagreement between them about you?
I am asking this because I am wondering how their marriage can be dependent on you.
If they have any form of conflict, it is something that they need to solve, even if the conflict is related to you, their daughter.
I cannot comment more on this, as you did not provide more details, but it would be good to think about this a little bit and see whether it is something that is really your responsibility or something beyond that.
Calm Down with Dhikr
So, sister, what I can tell you is to please try to calm down and see things from a bit of distance.
If you are overwhelmed emotionally and struggle with distress, it is difficult to see things with more clarity. First, you need to calm down to be able to think about possible solutions.
Trust in Allah and turn to Him in your prayers. Just share with Him your struggle. Ask for His guidance and help, as He is the only source of help in need.
Try to increase your worship, add some extra dhikr or voluntary prayer, and listen to duas or recitations that help you calm your heart down.
In His remembrance, you will find peace, in sha Allah.
May Allah make it easy for you.
Read more:
- Help Me Navigate This World Obsessed with Beauty
- My Arrogant vs. Merciful Way of Imaan…Please Advise
- I’ve Hurt My Mum; How to Control Anger & Gain Back Her Trust?
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.