Just a quick family background. My mum and dad have separated, they've not had a great relationship. My dad's family would always hate on my mum and look down on her and wait for her failures. Due to that fact my mums been very self-conscious and strict.
She's not "forced" me into marriage but whenever I'd say, "no" or "I'm not ready" she'd say that you're getting old or why are you rejecting them like you're so pretty etc. So finally, I became so sick of these back-and-forth comments that when she tried to get me to marry this guy (from abroad) I gave in. Never met him but spoke virtually and said yes because my mum felt very positive about them and she seemed the happiest she has ever been. Now 7 months after the nikkah, I really don't like him even now. I've tried my best to, and also met him but I don't feel that attraction. He's been very nice and what not. But I just do not like him! And now I regret giving up on myself so easily.
I'm at the point where I've got my nikkah done but do not find him attractive so I feel like I should ask for a divorce before getting more committed?
Please, I need some advice.
Answer
If you don’t want to marry, you don’t have to until you find the right person for you.
It should be your decision, as you are going to live your life with your future spouse and not your family.
What if you are already married but do not feel love for your spouse?
Make a conscious decision that you will try to do your best to give a chance to this marriage and see whether Allah places love in your hearts for each other.
It can happen that despite your attempts and good intentions, you will not feel that you are meant to be together.
If you have no feelings for your spouse, it is better – and more fair – to let both of you go your separate ways before circumstances – children, family – complicate the separation.
Click on the video and listen to the full advice.
More about engagement:
- Premarital Prep Masterclass.. Join the Workshop
- How to Do a Muslim Engagement Ceremony?
- Is It Permissible in Islam to Break My Engagement?
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