Q As Salamu Alaykum. For as long as I can remember I never got along with my brother. I had to sit down and ask myself why I dislike him so much and the few reasons I came up with were because he never acted as an older sibling. I’ve had to step up and supervise him multiple times because my parents didn’t find him trustworthy due to some things he has done and I was left to look after a grown man when I was still a teenager.

At some point during high school, my dad took me out of school in the U.S and took me back home which made me really sad because of many reasons, but one of them was because my brother was supposed to be almost done with university and it was smarter to pay for him to get his degrees. He ended up failing some courses he took and my dad brought him back home and started feeling guilty because he could’ve left me in the U.S to study since I was a good student.

They all expect me to treat him like an older sibling when he never acted like one. I feel like a hater now because even though he has not done anything wrong so far and claims to have changed, I can’t help but feel annoyed by him and I know most of it is Shaitan’s doing, but I can’t seem to let it go. I’m having to live with him and share things with him, but It’s hard to do so when you don’t like someone. Both of us are back in the U.S and we go to the same university, and I can’t help but feel like if I was the one who messed up like he did, my father would have never given me a second chance to come back. I wish I wasn’t thinking like this and I feel like a good Muslim should not dislike anyone especially their own brother.

I have a great relationship with my other siblings and I even look up to them since I am the youngest, but I just can’t see myself doing the same with my brother. I am willing to take any advice on this problem. Jazkallah. Thank you!