Sexting from a Fake Profile; I Regret My Sin

19 February, 2020
Q Assalamu Aleikom. I am a 26 year old girl. I am single, and have now accepted this as a test from Allah. My life was going smoothly until my past started haunting me.

In 2017, I created a fake account and started online relationships involving sexting. After a few days, I stopped doing this. One of the guys was also my friend on my real account, and we often talked about our studies and everyday things.

He thought that the person he got into an online relationship with was my „friend”. I also acted as a mediator. After some months, I stopped contacting him from both accounts. I even deleted the fake one.

Then, the guy unexpectedly messaged me on my real account asking about „my friend” after three years. I cannot confess to him that I am the same girl. I know that I’ve hurt him, and I’m scared that he’d harm me by exposing my pictures and identity if I admitted what I have done.

I know that I committed an unforgivable sin. I did everything because of my loneliness. I failed to recognize that my single status is just a trial from Allah. After realizing my sin, I repented to Allah but I am unable to forgive myself.

Other than making dua for him, I cannot do anything else to compensate for my deeds. I’m praying to Allah and seeking His forgiveness. I feel like I invited my own destruction.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

He is probably looking for more sexual conversations, sister. Please do not feel bad because he is probably not seeking good.

I kindly advise you insha’Allah, to please try real hard to put all this behind you and not think about it. You have already repented.

You can honestly tell him that she and you are no longer in touch, that she has gone away. This is true because whoever you were pretending to be, you no longer are.


As salamu alaykum,

Shokran for writing to our Live Session. As I understand, you are 26 years old and single. Your life was going smoothly until you were made to remember something from your past which made you scared.

Fake Accounts

Sister, you stated that you created a fake account online and started chatting with some guys a few years ago. You ended up chatting with someone you knew.

The chatting became sexual. You stated that you only did this for a few days and then stopped.

You realized that you were doing this because you were lonely and felt bad. You also realized that this was a trial. It appears that you did learn from your experience, Sister and repented.

Sexual Conversations

The problem is that the guy you were chatting with also knows you in real life. You used to talk about studies and other normal things. He does not know that the fake profile was yours. He is now asking to be in touch with your „friend” again.

Sister, simply tell him that you are not in touch with the person, and you have no idea where she is. Leave it at that; do not expand upon it, and do not try to continue a conversation with him. There is no need to.

There’s no need to worry about him damaging or harming you. Whoever he is looking for is no longer to be found. I understand that you feel like you have hurt him.

Sexting from a Fake Profile; I Regret My Sin - About Islam

However, he is more than likely seeking to reach out to that fake account because he was able to have sexual conversations there. That is not a good sign.

It’s not like it was a halal conversation. It is not that he cared about the person behind the screen. It was a haram interaction as there was sexual content going on.

He is probably looking for more sexual conversations, sister. Please do not feel bad because he is probably not seeking good.

Allah is so Merciful and Forgiving

Sister, you said that you did seek repentance from Allah but that you are unable to forgive yourself. I am sure you understand that once we give our sins to Allah and truly sincerely repent, Allah is most forgiving.

We must believe that because Allah states it is true, and Allah loves to forgive.

When we repent, it’s like we’re handing our sins to Allah. When we do this, we are to let go of it; not repeat it, and not keep thinking about it. We are to trust in Allah!

Naturally, we feel guilty for our sins. However, we as Muslims need to work harder on having stronger faith in Allah as He does say He will forgive us.

If we doubt this by not forgiving ourselves, it’s like we are doubting Allah. Obviously, we do not want to do this. Perhaps this is the real test and trial.

Moving Forward

Sister, I kindly advise you insha’Allah, to please try real hard to put all this behind you and not think about it. You have already repented.

Do not worry about the current situation concerning this guy looking for the girl he was talking to.

You can honestly tell him that she and you are no longer in touch, that she has gone away. This is true because whoever you were pretending to be, you no longer are.

Those couple of days in the past are gone. You are no longer pretending to be someone else; therefore, that person does not exist. Sister, please do move forward with your life, trusting in Allah.

Conclusion

Insha’Allah, realize that this may be a test and trial as it has come up years later and suddenly. Do not be tempted. Seek refuge in Allah swt. Make duaa to Allah to help you move forward in faith.

You have made a mistake like everyone else does in life. We all make mistakes Sister, we all sin. That’s why we are so blessed to have the mercy of Allah to go to for forgiveness.

Count that as a big blessing. Know that Allah loves you, and move on with your life putting this behind you.

We wish you the best.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

How to Handle Hateful “Friends”

Shocked by My Husband’s Fantasies

Repentance and Asking for Forgiveness- Any Difference?

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.