Ads by Muslim Ad Network

My Teen Brother Shows Signs of Self-Harming, Being Gay

22 May, 2024
Q Recently, my family and I accidentally found out that my brother is gay, and he believes in manifestations. For the past few years, his attitude with the family has become horrible, as he is constantly yelling at everyone in the family if anyone says anything to him, my parents included. He can’t stand anyone saying anything to him, even something as simple as telling him to finish his breakfast. He begins to yell and says “we are all so annoying” and that we all are the reason he wants to run away.

Here, a child is allowed to legally leave home once they are 16, and he has made it very clear to us that he will leave and cut ties with us once he is 16.

As a result, we decided to go on his laptop one day, while he wasn’t home because we were concerned on why his personality changed so suddenly. We wanted to find out if it was because he had made new friends in high school etc. In his photos, we found screenshots of his texts where him and friends talked about him being gay. We also found that he believes in manifestations, as he listens to subliminal audios all day long. He listens to these audios in hopes to become more attractive, to get everything he wants etc.

Since finding these things out, my parents have been confused on what to do. We have not yet confronted him with anything, because we are scared that he will run away, or that he will self-harm again, because he used to in the past.

My family is an Islamic family. My parents have always taught us everything about Islam. My brothers and I have gone to Islamic school since we were kids. We know what’s right and wrong in Islam. My family prays together every day, and we listen to at least one Islamic lecture daily. This is why it’s so shocking that my youngest brother is somehow so far off.

We are all confused on how to go farther from this, and would appreciate any advice possible. Jazak Allah

Answer

Your teen brother was engaged in self-harm; he is confrontational and has a negative attitude. These are probably related to his identity crisis, which goes against the teachings of Islam.

How can you help him?

When you notice the self-harming behavior of a family member, know that this is a huge red flag and you need to seek professional help as soon as possible.

The first thing to do is make him feel loved and supported by you and your family. He needs to know that you love him and that you are there to go through all this together. 

What else is there to do, and what do you need to know about manifestation from the counselor’s perspective?

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Check out the video to learn more. 

More from Sr. Aisha:

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.