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I Want to Control Same-Sex Desires; Help!

09 February, 2024
Q Since I can remember I always knew I was attracted to both genders. Now being 24 and unmarried. Im realizing, I can't control my feelings. What do I do?


In your 20s, it is normal and healthy to have sexual desires and feel attraction. Finding a way to channel these energies is the best thing to do.

You may have confusing feelings, as you haven’t experienced being in a relationship yet. Marriage can help things fall into place in a natural way; furthermore, it can help define and refine your desires.

For us, Muslims, marriage with a member of the opposite sex is the halal way to meet our needs and enjoy the blessings of these feelings.

Kindly explore your possibilities for marriage and seek a compatible spouse you can bond with first.

In sha Allah, you will find a brother who will embody your attraction, fulfill your sense of belonging, and help control your desires.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.