Superstitions Around My Marriage: Shall I Believe Them?

25 August, 2020
Q I got married last year, but I am still with my parents not at my husband’s home.

My in-laws wanted to take me after a year (after ruksati) but now they delay it further saying they wanted that their two sons marry at the same time. They are searching now for a girl for my hubby’s brother.

I am hearing from people that two marriages at the same time means one will fail. Unfortunately, it has happened three times in my family where one couple is happy and other is not. The society I live in is always gossiping.

When I go shopping, people say: “Don't buy black stuff for the wedding as it’s unfavorable. However, no hadith mentions these. Please guide me on these as I am stressed out.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

Nothing and nobody can break your marriage if Allah (swt) does not allow it to happen. I would suggest that you stay strong and do not believe everything other people say to you.

Worrying too much will not help you, so please do not think too much about what will happen in the future.

Take things step by step and keep a good communication with your husband as good communication and understanding are the keys to any good relationship.


As-Salam ‘Alikom sister,

Thank you for writing to us. I will try my best to guide you, In sha’ Allah.

Congratulations to your nikah. I hope your coming years bring a lot of happiness and harmony with your husband.

What other’s say

Do not worry about what other people say. What you are hearing is not true at all.

Our thoughts have a powerful ability to affect our feelings and emotional state and also affect the way we behave for better or worse. Islam encourages us to be optimistic in our thoughts and to put our faith in Allah (swt).

Superstitions Around My Marriage: Shall I Believe Them? - About Islam

When we think in a positive manner, we can increase the effectiveness of our prayers and worshipping; we can avoid being angry or get depressed. Put your trust in Allah (swt) and never belittle that trust. Allah (swt) mentions in the Quran:

”Put your trust in Allah. Allah loves those that trust (in Him).” (3:159)

Two marriages at the same time

It’s not mentioned anywhere in the Qur’an that two marriages at the same time mean one will fail. It might have happened in your family before, but it does not mean that it is going to happen with every marriage. If your marriage is going to break, then it can happen for many other reasons, but definitely not because you had two marriages at the same time.

Sometimes, people like to create their own culture and beliefs based on what they see and experience. That is why it is so important to be aware of what is actually true or not.

Some parents like to get their children married off at the same time as they can save on costs for another ceremony. Weddings in Arabic and Indian cultures are not cheap, therefore, I think it is a good idea to have it on the same day for both brothers.

Any color

Regarding colors of clothes for men and women, all colors are permissible. The most required quality in the dress of the Muslim woman is that it should be large and thick enough to cover her complete body. It should also be modest, and the colors or the quality of the dress should not have any importance.


Check out this counseling video:


Stay positive

I would suggest that you stay strong and do not believe everything other people say to you. What they are doing is assuming things, and it is not healthy for you to be around these people.

Nothing and nobody can break your marriage if Allah (swt) does not allow it to happen. Pray to Allah (swt) that He gives you strength and patience and that he makes everything easy for you and your husband.

Worrying too much will not help anything, so please do not think too much about what will happen in the future. Take things step by step and keep a good communication with your husband as good communication and understanding are the keys to any good relationship.

May Allah (swt) ease your tension and make you and your husband happy together.

Ameen,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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