In this counseling answer:
- Everything happens by the will of Allah, and you are not going to miss the one who has been decreed for you.
- We need to be as transparent and honest as possible with our marriage plans and goals. We need to think about the other person and be fair in our approach, not leaving hanging proposals that we do not take seriously.
- If the future has anything for both of you, you will have to deal with it in the future, but now, in the present, focus on letting this situation go.
Salam alaikom dear sister,
Thank you for turning to us.
The man who wanted to marry you met someone else and ended things with you. Now you love him, and although he is involved with someone else, he says that he sees a future with you.
Sister, I want to reassure you that everything happens by the will of Allah, and you are not going to miss the one who has been decreed for you.
So, if this person is meant to be your husband, your first rejection and later realization won’t cause a change in your destiny.
What makes you love him now?
But you can use this situation to reflect on what happened and why.
What makes you love him now, and why were you not interested in him before? What could be the reason behind this change?
What do you like about him now? And what do you need in a future spouse in general?
You may think about these questions to understand what makes him desirable now or what blocked you back then when accepting the proposal was easier.
At the same time, I would like to point out that you deserve a clear answer from him regarding his plans.
Why is then with someone else?
The question arises: if he sees a future with you, what is he doing with someone else now?
During the marriage search and courting period, we need to be as transparent and honest as possible with our plans and goals. We need to think about the other person and be fair in our approach, not leaving hanging proposals that we do not take seriously.
So, if he is about to choose between two possibilities right now, the most correct way is to inform both you and the other girl about that. And once he has made a proposal to her (or to you), he should let go of the other.
I am not sure what the case is, but I kindly advise you, sister, that if he has already made other plans and is proceeding with them, do see these events as a sign from Allah.
Present Not Future Options
You may try to get a clear answer regarding his present and not about future possibilities, like the statement you mention.
If the future has anything for both of you, you will have to deal with it in the future, but now, in the present, focus on letting this situation go.
Keep turning to Allah for guidance, and be sure that He brings you closer only to those people who have a real place in your life.
Make dua and ask for His help. If you do istikhara, make sure that you do it after taking a decision, and of course, only a possible decision. Read more about the procedure for istikhara here.
I hope this helps. May Allah guide you and grant you happiness, ameen.
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