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What Kind of Husband Should I Look for?

23 January, 2023
Q Please could you help me? I was wondering what kind of husband should I get now that I am a Muslim. Perhaps I am too old for a husband .

Answer


In this counseling session:

  • You are not too old, as you mentioned, and there is nothing that prohibits you from getting married and leading a righteous life with a spouse who shares your desire for learning about Allah (swt) and getting closer to Him.
  • The kind of husband we should look for is the one who has good character and is committed to his religion. That’s the most important criterion.
  • In Islam, marriage is meant to be a sign of Allah (swt), it is a journey of intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical connection between the partners.
  • Both the husband and wife should aid one another in their connection with their Creator, actualizing their purpose in life and seeking all that is good and pure in this life and the next.

Assalamu Alaykum Dearest Sister,

Thank you so much for sending us your message. We’re thrilled to know you became a Muslim.

We pray that Allah (swt) would shower you with ease, peace and mercy in this life and the next, and show you the best and purest way to live your life. Ameen.

Future Spouse

With regards to your question, the Noble Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) says:

“If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him.” [Sunan ibn Majah, Chapters on Marriage]

So, the kind of husband we should look for is the one who has good character and is committed to his religion. That’s the most important criterion.

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We seek husbands who treat us in the best manner, whose conduct with others reflect their respectable personality as well.

What Kind of Husband Should I Look for? - About Islam

They also need to be religious in the sense that they love, respect and fear Allah (swt) and His Messenger.

And would not abuse the trust of taking care of the women they marry.

Marriage

Even our marriage contract in Islam is a testimony from the husband before Allah (swt) and other witnesses; that this man will be responsible for taking care of his wife’s emotional, physical, spiritual, intellectual and financial needs.

Any harm; emotional, physical…..etc. that he afflicts on her is forbidden and he will be accountable for it on the Day of Judgement.

The husband needs to be aware of that so that his intentions of getting married are pure and sincere.


Check out this counseling video:


In Islam, marriage is meant to be a sign of Allah (swt), it is a journey of intellectual, emotional, spiritual and physical connection between the partners.

Purpose

Both the husband and wife should aid one another in their connection with their Creator, actualizing their purpose in life and seeking all that is good and pure in this life and the next.

It is a companionship on the journey towards Allah (swt) and they shouldn’t lose sight of that.

Allah (swt) says:

{And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought} (Quran 30: 21)

So, we need to be reminded of why we are seeking marriage. So that we have the right intention and right mindset before we embark on this journey.

We also need to remember that marriage is rizq (sustenance) from Allah (swt). So, we need to ask Him (swt) the All Knowing.

All Wise, Source of Love and Mercy to help us and provide us with what is best for us.

We advise you, accordingly, to make dua’ (supplication) to Allah (swt) to facilitate marriage for you.

Conclusion

You are not too old, as you mentioned. There is nothing that prohibits you from getting married and leading a righteous life.

With a spouse who shares your desire for learning about Allah (swt) and getting closer to Him.

Just make sure of the character and religious commitment of your partner and that there is mutual understanding between the two of you.

As to why you want to get married, what your needs are and what you expect from this union and companionship, insha’Allah.

May Allah (swt) please you and grant you what is best for you in this life and the next.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Marriage: God’s Gift to Humanity