For instance, while I was eating a meal she cooked for me, she revealed that she was cooking with wine. I refused to eat the food, but she convinced me that during the cooking, the alcohol was all burned away.
Partly because I was still hungry and partly because my Muslim father (who does not practice) backed her up, I finished the meal.
However, now in retrospect, I know this was wrong. Do you have any advice about this incident or how I could deal with future incidents such as this?
Answer
Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
Cooking with wine is not lawful for Muslims. You should politely tell your mother that while you appreciate her hospitality, you cannot and will not eat such foods in the future.
Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
We would like to congratulate you on choosing Islam as a religion and a way of life. Islam is the religion that shows people how to gain Allah’s pleasure and satisfaction, how to be happy in this world, and how to gain Paradise in the Hereafter.
Islam asks Muslims to be dutiful to their parents irrespective of the latter’s misconduct.
Therefore, you should show your parents how Islam implants love and respect for parents in your heart.
Be kind and generous when dealing with them. Set a good example for them in morality, kindness, generosity, politeness, and so on.
By doing so, you will invite them to the straight path of Islam.
Cooking with wine is not lawful for Muslims. You should politely tell your mother that while you appreciate her hospitality, you cannot and will not eat such foods in the future.
If your mother is a reasonable person, she would simply respect your personal choice. Your Muslim father is definitely wrong in siding with her.
Be gentle and polite yet firm with your parents on this issue. When you stand firm on your principles, sooner or later she will come to appreciate your stand.
In the meantime, ask forgiveness of Allah for what you have already done. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah has forgiven my Ummah of their unwillful mistakes.” (Ibn Majah)
Another important point to remember: Pray to Allah to guide your mother and father and open their hearts to receive the truth and accept it. Surely Allah opens the hearts of those who are sincere in their pursuit of truth.
Allah Almighty knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.