Answer
In this counseling answer:
“Make a list of the reasons why you wanted to wear hijab. Then make another list as to why you would like to take it off now and compare the two.”
As Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,
Thank you for writing to us with your very important concern. May Allah (swt) bless you for wearing hijab since you were 9! As you now desire to take it off, I ask you to look back to when you were 9 years old and make a list of the reasons why you wanted to wear hijab. Then make another list as to why you would like to take it off now and compare the two.
While I understand that at 9 you were a child, and now you are a young adult, and things change, we need to determine what has changed within you spiritually in addition to just wanting to look “pretty” and having fun with your hairstyles and such. I would also like you to write down the following questions and answer them as a part of self-reflection. This will also help determine if your sister is an influence in your desire to take off your hijab. If so, that is not a good influence. You are a beautifully wrapped pearl, valuable and lovely. Why would you want to give away your beauty to the world?
Sister, many of us go through periods wherein we want to change our looks, have fun with different hairstyles, makeup and so forth. It is a natural part of being a woman. However, I must stress that you must fully assure yourself that this is what you truly want deep down in your heart. Your decision to take off your hijab could lead to other things that pull you away from Allah (swt), or maybe not. Maybe you will feel naked after a while. Only you know.
One woman’s experience when taking off hijab was not as she expected: “without the hijab, I began to feel vulnerable, unprotected and undignified, despite the fact that I was doing so well to fit in, and I was highly accepted by my friends”. In addition to your sister taking off her hijab, has her behavior changed as well as she started acting more unIslamic, and if so, how does this affect you? Do you see yourself becoming more unIslamic if you take off your hijab? Do you feel this will make you more vulnerable to do other things that are not within the guidelines of Islam? Why do you think you will look prettier without hijab? Do you think you are not pretty no or are you just seeking a change in looks? Do you feel a need to belong to groups of girls who are not Muslims, if so, why? Despite your fear to tell your parents of your decision, what is your fear of Allah (swt)? How do you feel in front of Him?
I would encourage you sister to keep your hijab on. I encourage you to have confidence in yourself, in what Islam prescribes and in what Allah (swt) commands. However, if you desire, experiment with different hijab colors, textures, styles. Maybe a little makeup if you truly want to change your looks. However, I think that after you experiment with changing your looks, you will miss who you truly are, and begin to appreciate the natural beauty of you which Allah (swt) has created if you have self-confidence. Self-confidence doesn’t derive from how others make you feel, but rather from how you feel about yourself, regardless what the rest of the world thinks. Confidence is the main source of attractiveness.
While no one can tell you what to do, or force you to wear hijab, I ask you to in sha’ Allah read many stories about girls who took off their hijab. This will give you a range of experiences to learn from before you decide so that you may make an informed decision. After all, this is really between you and Allah (swt), and no one else.
We wish you the best sister, whatever you decide! You are in our prayers.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
