Answer
Answer:
Wa ‘Alaikum Salam,
I guess it is about time to start doing what you feel is right, not what people think is right for you. Asking for advice is a good thing; however, sometimes it is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
When you take an advice, you should think it over and always listen to yourself. Be the one who makes the decision because you are the one who is going to enjoy or suffer. Everyone else will go home and you will be left alone with your life living the consequences good or bad.
What are you waiting for to put an end to this miserable life? If you had two and a half miserable years, and your engagement was not happy, so what are you waiting for?!
What you are doing is exactly what most people do when they choose willingly to assassinate their lives and to commit suicide emotionally. Furthermore, they end up either betraying their partners or passing away with severe depression. Why are we afraid of facing the reality, and would rather please everybody around us but ourselves!
I am pretty sure your wife’s life is as miserable as yours, and let me assure you that your kids will go through the same thing and they will have a distorted view about marriage.
The question that you need to find an answer for is: why are you doing this to yourself and your inner family?
Live the Life You Deserve
Putting an end to your miserable life doesn’t mean to get a divorce. Simply, it means to start having an amazing one. It is to start thinking that you deserve to live a wonderful life. I think the problem is that people think that this is all what they deserve, therefore, they don’t bother. So, it has to start in your mind first that you deserve a better life, and then you will plan accordingly.
If not Fixable, Leave It
Start with this end in mind to work hard and hard and harder to fix the relationship, but if you will come to the point where you are certain that it is not fixable, you will have to decide what you are going to do with your life and how to live it as you deserve it.
Divorce is painful; you will get hurt, and you will suffer; negative feelings will be all around you. But sometimes, this is better than to live just waiting for death.
If there is anything you can do to fix your marriage to live together in happiness and peace, please do. Don’t get divorce simply because you want to quit, thinking that quitting is the solution. If you have something that needs to be changed, change it now in this relationship, because changing the relationship is not going to change you.
If not, so please do not live waiting to die. This is not why God (swt) put us on earth for.
Salam,
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