Alhamdulillah, I am good looking, well qualified, settled with good job and belong to a good family but still I am facing issues to get married and this has made me and my mom extremely depressed…..I had immense faith in Allah…..but now I feel very hopeless and empty….I don’t pray my Tahajjud and make dua’s with same passion and conviction that I used to do earlier….Earlier I used to make dua and cry for hours to Allah but I don’t even feel like shredding a tear now….I feel Allah is mad at me and he has taken away the privilege of Dua from me because I feel no passion in making dua it’s just for namesake and I feel very HOPELESS….I feel I have made this dua for so many years how it is going to change now
Recently I was reminded about the power of Astaghfirullah and how making Istighfar can get your duas accepted and fulfilled….I was myself an orator of this in the past but now when I plan to recite Astaghfirullah I feel why will Allah accept it when I am not doing it with passion and I am doing it for the sake just to get the dua accepted…..Not really having the intention of making Istighfar but just doing it for the sake of fulfilling Dua….
I don’t know what to do….and I don’t know what I am feeling and Why I am feeling this….I am very confused….I feel very bland, numb, empty and hopeless …….Please help me…..
Answer
In this counseling post:
- Be confident that there is a good reason for us to be in the situations that we find ourselves seemingly stranded in at times.
- Allah is the best of planners. See the delay as protection and blessing instead.
- Continue to fulfill your obligations, and be in the presence of people who will encourage you on the right path.
Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,
I understand that at your age and with the failures despite your persistence, you must be feeling incredibly fed up by now. This is a huge test for you.
Unfortunately, when we go through such trials and are left feeling like our duas are not being accepted or even listened to, as humans, we have the tendency to just give up feeling like we are not being listened to.
I believe this is something that most of us go through at some point in life to some extent or another, for any number of challenges that we are faced with throughout life.
However, the key thing is that we allow ourselves to then step back out of this feeling of helplessness and instead focus on the hope of Allah, on His mercy.
There Is a Good Reason
Be confident that there is a good reason for us to be in the situations that we find ourselves seemingly stranded in at times.
This may be far easier said than done, especially when you are feeling so low.
The good thing is that you have stepped forward for some support on the matter, and you recognize that this is a problem for you.
This shows that you are ready to face it and overcome this present hardship and will make the effort to affect change in your life.
The Best of Planners
Firstly, have confidence that Allah is the best of planners.
He is the one who is protecting you and guiding you to what is best for you.
Perhaps any proposals that have previously fallen through were not for you. In fact, going to cause you even greater hardships than you are currently experiencing.
Maybe He is making you wait so that you will truly appreciate the right person that will come into your life.
Often, when things are made easy for us, we become quite ungrateful and don’t realize the blessings in our lives.
If we are given something after hardship and persistence, we appreciate it so much more, make the most of it, and treat it like the blessing that it is.
The same could be said of a life partner in marriage.
Perhaps Allah is making you wait for this blessed reason. Additionally, your situation has been one that’s made you really contemplate things and analyze your life and relationship with Allah.
Even though you may not feel this is in a good space right now, the way you are drawing attention to it in yourself and reflecting will allow you to make positive changes.
The fact that you are even thinking about it and thinking about Allah can only be a positive thing.
You are clearly able to see what is right and wrong and know what you need to correct.
I understand that you feel you are forcing it right now. But to do this is surely better than giving up altogether and completely turning away from Allah.
Eventually, with persistence and positive influences around you, you will, in sha Allah, be back on track.
This whole situation will have in fact been the thing that pushed you closer to Allah than ever, which is a blessing in itself.
Just Keep Doing It
Do continue to fulfill your obligations, even if they do feel forced for now.
Continue to build on them by adding in some short duas through the day, fasting if you can. Make additional acts of worship bit by bit without overburdening yourself.
Be in the presence of people who will encourage you on the right path. They will naturally make you feel like engaging in more acts of worship alongside them. It won’t feel so forced as you are doing it with them as part of your daily life.
May Allah continue to guide you on the straight path, and may you find comfort in His remembrance.
May He grant you a righteous spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next, at the perfect time.
Read more from Sr. Hannah:
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