I Just Converted to Get Married, Then Allah Opened My Heart

Cindy is in her late twenties and said her shahadah seven years ago. But only around two years ago, she started to call herself a Muslim. She is mom of five and lives in Germany.

Difficult Times

I had a difficult teenager time. I lived with different foster parents and dropped out of school. I was also a teenager mom. I was not happy, I did not know what my future will bring. I felt lost. I tried to be a good mom but I had no support from my family.

One day I met my husband. He is much older than me. But he cared about me. However, he is Muslim.

And although he did not practice Islam, he told me that in order to get married, I needed to become Muslim. Otherwise, his family would not accept us.

For the first time in my life, I felt that somebody truly cared about me. And I accepted Islam to be able to be with my husband. It was the best decision in my life.

Was that the Islam I had Accepted?

After I formally said my shahadah and we got married. Five years later, I met an old childhood friend who had become Muslim.

But different to myself, she covered her head, prayed, read Quran and fasted. She radiated with a special light. She talked about God and His love for us and our love for Him.

And I was just astonished. Was that the Islam I had accepted to get married to my husband? I asked myself. I became truly interested to learn more about Islam.

My Way to Come to Allah

The first thing my friend taught me is to say the shahadah again. This time with true conviction.

Then I slowly learned the prayer. It has not been easy for me to learn the words and verses I have to recite in prayer. I am dyslexic but Alhamdulillah due to God’s infinite mercy I am now able to fluently recite Al-Fatihah, the opener chapter of the Quran.

I try to pray all my five prayers. And recently I also started wearing my headscarf. My progress might be slow, but it is my way to come to Allah. I believe from the depths of my heart that He knows my struggles and He knows every little, tiny step I take to become a better Muslim.

What I Found in Islam

Practicing Islam changed my life. I finally feel that I belong. It is a beautiful feeling to know that basically I have a very big Muslim family. I found stability and peace; something I had always missed in my life since childhood.

I want to learn more and become a better Muslim because I want my children to have a good example to follow. I want them to see their mom love Allah, pray and be an upright and honest Muslim woman. I pray everyday that they follow me in living and loving Islam.

The Effects of Living Islam

Since I started living and practicing Islam, my husband also started to slowly come back to Islam. Although he never left Islam, he did not practice for many years.

Alhamdulillah, last year we fasted Ramadan together. It was beautiful and I felt so much blessings come down on my family.

I pray to Allah that we will be able to further walk together towards coming closer to Allah.

About Claudia Azizah
Claudia Azizah is originally from Germany and mother of two children and writer. She served as Assistant Professor at the International Islamic University in Malaysia until August 2019. She is co-founder of the Ulu-Ilir-Institute in Indonesia. She regularly writes for the German Islamic newspaper. She is interested in Islamic spirituality, art and Southeast Asia. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram: #clazahsei