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Erectile Dysfunction; How to Help My Husband?

25 November, 2021
Q My husband has erectile dysfunction. He’s had it for about 2 years now. I try so hard for him, but I feel like his male ego gets in the way. He doesn’t want to receive help as he feels embarrassed.

I really love my husband and could never think about divorce as we love each other so much. I am only 26, and I haven’t told anyone about my husband’s problem.

Sometimes, I have bad thoughts but I have been praying more and more to Allah as I have been faithful to my husband for 6 years and want to remain that way till the day I die.

I would like to know if there is any other way I can help my husband fix his problem because we both want more children in the future. Any advice I can get off anyone will be much appreciated.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

As much as he feels embarrassed about it, it is also important that he does get medical advice about it.

Continue to offer support to your husband.

The doctor has seen many patients with the same problem and will be able to rule out any underlying condition and also advise on how to fix the problem naturally.


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

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This is not an uncommon problem in men and he is not alone. However, I understand that it is an embarrassing problem for him.

Unfortunately, it is this embarrassment that can actually make it worse, and the more embarrassed he becomes the bigger the problem becomes. Alhamdulilah, he has a supportive wife in you and this will be incredibly helpful for him moving forward, in sha Allah.

Medical check

As much as he feels embarrassed about it, it is also important that he does get medical advice about it.

This problem could possibly be a result of some underlying condition that could easily be fixed. If he does not see a doctor then he will never know. Like with most similar problems, it is always best to see a medic first to rule anything else out.

If nothing is found to be medically wrong then the doctor will be able to refer him to someone who could help with what is probably then more of a psychological issue. Inshallah, it will be easily solved.

Both men and women feel embarrassed to go to the doctor about any issue to do with genitals. It is not something that many people are comfortable talking about or have to expose one awra. This is a good sign of modesty, but when there is a problem, it is OK to seek help, and it is important to do so.

Such problems may be embarrassing, but his doctor has certainly dealt with the same query many a time before and therefore there is no need to be embarrassed.

Continue to offer support to your husband,

let him know that you will accompany him if he wants, or even call and book the appointment too if he wants. Whatever will make him comfortable. Give him time and gentle encouragement without making him feel pressured or inadequate.

If you haven’t shared your thoughts and fears with him then you might do this when the time is appropriate too. Let him know that you want to have more children together and want to support him in making sure that you will be able to do this and that visiting the doctor is a necessary step.

This is because you care about him also and want to make sure there is not something else going on medically that causes this problem.

The doctor has seen many patients with the same problem and will be able to rule out any underlying condition and also advise on how to fix the problem naturally.

For example, even without any underlying problem present, there are medications and devices that can help with your husbands’ problem that the doctor would be able to direct you to also, or to a specialist who deals with such queries every day.

May Allah reward your concern for your husband and efforts to support your husband. May He grant you both confidence and guidance moving forward and grant you more children who will be the coolness of your eyes in this life and the next.

Amen,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)