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Spirituality Within Sexuality

Intimacy as a Spiritual Boost

Those moments of intimacy and sexuality with your spouse, those special moments when no matter how much noise might be outside of the window, you are only aware of each other.

That deep connection that is connected to your trust, vulnerability, emotions, your faith. 

Sex, when done in an ethical and halal manner, can not only be connected to your spirituality, but, it can also be a spiritual boost.

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Intimacy as a Spiritual Boost - About Islam

For far too long, people have associated religion and spirituality with caged sexuality and something shameful.

As if religious followers are not allowed to enjoy intimacy, and are limited only to missionary with the lights off.

Sexuality does not diminish one’s modesty, nor is it inappropriate for a woman to be highly sexual. One can still maintain modesty while being completely opposite in the bedroom.

Some take the stance that sex is meant for creating children and nothing more, but I do not know of any religion that truly condemns sexuality as some shameful act.

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Sure, many religions have conditions surrounding sexuality, such as stating it cannot occur until after marriage or placing restrictions on engaging in sex during a woman’s menses, but this does not mean sexuality is shameful or discouraged.

It simply means it has a correct place and time, it is not a free for all.

“…in man’s sexual Intercourse (with his wife, ) there is a Sadaqa. They (the Companions) said: Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me, if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would it not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward.”

[Muslim]

Sex as a Spiritual Boost 

When we frame sexuality as a blessing and are grateful for it, we are more likely to treat it with care.

If you abide by the rules of your faith and see sexuality as a pleasurable blessing meant to be shared between you and your loved one, you will benefit more spiritually from that connection.

Think of it this way: within religion and spirituality, striving to do acts that are permitted and finding joy and gratitude in those acts is showing gratitude and enjoying the blessings bestowed upon us.

When someone with faith appreciates their blessings and enjoys them, it is an act of worship.

Sexuality is also a way to give to your spouse and be generous. Sexuality should not be approached with the selfish attitude of “get what I want and leave.”

Taking the time to make it pleasurable for your spouse and keeping their needs in mind is serving your spouse, which is a form of worship when you are enjoining good with them.

Mental Health Benefits of Sexuality

When you orgasm, you release prolactin. This hormone is associated with feelings of relaxation and can help you sleep better.

Additionally, studies show women who get more  sleep often have higher libidos.

Healthy sleep impacts our ability to focus, our mood, and even our appetite.

A healthy sexual life can help you reduce anxiety and depression. Oxytocin is released during foreplay and sex. This lovely hormone helps reduce anxiety and is linked to empathy and generosity.

That natural high people achieve when they do an intense workout at the gym is the same natural high you can get from making love to your spouse.

Sex can boost your self-esteem if your partner makes you feel desirable and seductive.

Beautifully, your self-esteem is also lifted when you realize you are providing intense pleasure for them.

Imagine making your wife or husband scream; it makes you feel good about yourself, doesn’t it?

Marital Benefits of Sexuality

During foreplay, oxytocin is released, which impacts bonding.

That closeness you feel with your partner during sex can extend beyond the bedroom and improve your overall bond.

Intimacy as a Spiritual Boost - About Islam

It is not a surprise that many people joke about “make-up sex,” as it is a way to reconnect and heal, even if you were yelling 30 minutes prior.

Unhealthy and unfulfilling sexual lives are linked to a higher chance of divorce.

A healthy sexual life that is full of exploration, depth, and openness can provide a happier marriage.

That is not to say that sex can cure all marital issues, but it certainly can help.

Communication is often improved in couples that are more willing to explore their sexuality together.

Trust is a component of any healthy relationship. Often, intimacy requires feeling vulnerable and open.

When we are that exposed to someone else and we invite them into it, we are building trust.

Final Thoughts

You know those transcendental moments of love, ecstasy, and bliss. What a blessing from Allah (the most revered, most glorified) sexuality is.

In those special moments, you are connecting with the love of your life in an emotional, spiritual, and loving way.

It is a blessing we should be grateful for. Sexuality is not against religion and spirituality; it aligns with a deeper spiritual connection, gratitude for this special act, and a way to serve your spouse.

***

Republished from the author’s blog, original posted on PsychCentral 

About Monique Hassan
Monique Hassan graduated with honors in 2012 with her BSc in Psychology and a minor in Biology and is certified in Crisis Prevention and Intervention. She has years of professional as well as personal experience with trauma, relationship struggles, substance abuse, identifying coping skills, conflict resolution, community outreach, and overall mental health concerns. She is a professional writer specialized in Islamic Psychology and Behavioral Health. She is also a revert who took her shahada in 2015, Alhamdulillah. You can contact Sister Monique Hassan via her website "MoniqueHassan.com"