22 December, 2021
Q
Asalamualaikum warahamathullahi wabaraqathuhu.
My marriage was an arranged marriage. I have been married for more than 2 years, but we have been living together only for 6 month as we both studied previously. My husband is an introvert, not friendly with any of his or my family members. He never speaks when his family is around us. I have never complained or nagged him regarding this.
He is mashaAllah a good guy, but a non-practicing Muslim. Although he fasts during Ramadan and goes for jumuah prayer, I need to force him to pray regularly. He believes in Allah and His Messenger.
I am leaving soon to my home city for some months for further studies, inshallah. I always wanted a baby, but he says he is not ready. Nowadays, I am losing my patience because of this.
It’s been more than 2 years now that we are married! I feel Allah’s wrath will fall upon us. It’s up to Allah to give us children or not, but my husband says he is not ready right now to even give it a try.
Nowadays, he is too tired and intimacy between us has declined. More than 2 months have passed since the last time we had intercourse. I am ready to adjust if he is not able to fulfill my needs, but the thing is that my chances of getting pregnant too will decrease.
I think he loves me. I always pray to Allah to give me guidance and patience and help me out. Please advise me how to deal with him and the situation.
My marriage was an arranged marriage. I have been married for more than 2 years, but we have been living together only for 6 month as we both studied previously. My husband is an introvert, not friendly with any of his or my family members. He never speaks when his family is around us. I have never complained or nagged him regarding this.
He is mashaAllah a good guy, but a non-practicing Muslim. Although he fasts during Ramadan and goes for jumuah prayer, I need to force him to pray regularly. He believes in Allah and His Messenger.
I am leaving soon to my home city for some months for further studies, inshallah. I always wanted a baby, but he says he is not ready. Nowadays, I am losing my patience because of this.
It’s been more than 2 years now that we are married! I feel Allah’s wrath will fall upon us. It’s up to Allah to give us children or not, but my husband says he is not ready right now to even give it a try.
Nowadays, he is too tired and intimacy between us has declined. More than 2 months have passed since the last time we had intercourse. I am ready to adjust if he is not able to fulfill my needs, but the thing is that my chances of getting pregnant too will decrease.
I think he loves me. I always pray to Allah to give me guidance and patience and help me out. Please advise me how to deal with him and the situation.
Answer
In this counseling video:
As-Salamu ‘Aleikom,
- Spending time together in the beginning of your marriage is very important. It’s a special time for bonding and getting to know one another. I am glad that now for the last 6 months, you have been able to get to know your husband and that you are enjoying your time together.
- Your husband is an introvert and not really friendly with any of his or your family members. I want to comment on this and ask you to look at his positive behavior with you or his friends or other people you may socialize with. It might be his nature to be shy.
- It might be something important that you want to check out and talk to him about how he feels in front of his family. Ask him if he is comfortable speaking, or just prefer listening, and just inquire why.
- This is the time to get to know each other, and questions are most appropriate….
May Allah (swt) help you,
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