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My Husband Has Many Girlfriends

08 September, 2021
Q My husband and I are married for a year now but he commits zina a lot. He has numerous girlfriends. He has given me STD. We don’t have a child yet. I am so confused right now.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

As you have only been married a year and you have no children yet, you have some serious thinking to do.

As your marriage started off poorly with him cheating, you have every right to divorce.

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Please make istakhara prayer regarding this most important decision.

If you want to save your marriage, seek marriage counseling.

But if you remain married to him and he continues to cheat, not only are you at risk for repeated STD’s, but you are at risk for one of the deadliest STD, HIV.


As-Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,

Thank you for writing to us with your most important issue. I am so sorry to hear of your husband’s infidelities and haram activities. I am sorry you have been the victim of STD’s.

Serious thinking

As you have only been married a year and you have no children yet, you have some serious thinking to do. As your marriage started off poorly with him cheating, you have every right to divorce. While our goal is to save marriages as Allah (swt) hates divorce, if you decide to divorce, you are within your rights.


Check out this counseling video:


I would kindly suggest that you think deeply about your marriage and if you would like to try to save it.  Please make istakhara prayer regarding this most important decision. If so, it will take the both of you – your husband and you to commit to saving your marriage.

Marriage counseling

I would kindly suggest in this case that you both go for marriage counseling as well as attend the Masjid for prayers and Islamic events. When couples pray together, have other Muslim couples as friends and build their marriage on an Islamic foundation, there tend to be better outcomes.

My Husband Has Many Girlfriends - About Islam

In regards to counseling, I would kindly suggest that your husband commit to not cheating. He should also go for individual counseling to find out what it is inside of himself that makes him cheat. His cheating has nothing to do with you sister but is a reflection of his own insecurities as well as his disconnection from Allah (swt).

Conclusion

Should he or you not want to commit to saving the marriage, please do seek out the counsel of an imam for divorce proceedings. I know this is painful, sister, but your life is at stake, literally. If you remain married to him and he continues to cheat, not only are you at risk for repeated STD’s, but you are at risk for one of the deadliest STD, HIV.

You are blessed in that so far the STD’s he gave you were treatable. The next time you may contract something that is more deadly and is a lifelong incurable disease severely impacting your quality of life. Please think hard sister.

We wish you the best,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.