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My Parents Don’t Allow Me to Pray in the Mosque

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jul 04, 2019

Question

I'm 13 and my parents don't allow me to go to the mosque which is near my house. My parents are not towards Islam but I'm. What should I do? Should I go without telling them or pray at home?

Counselor

Answer


My Parents Don't Allow Me to Pray at the Mosque

In this counseling answer:

•Perhaps there are people there that they fear may be a bad influence on you, or the route there is dangerous for example.

•Perhaps you could agree that to begin with you will only attend Friday prayers. In time as their hearts soften maybe they will allow you to attend more often.

•Certainly at your age now you are being wise in your desire to attend the mosque as it becomes an important obligation. Talk with them gently about it and don’t get angry.

•Be prepared that they may be resistant at first. If so, you can show them that you are serious about it by openly practicing at home in the meantime.


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh dear brother,

Masha Allah, that is great that you wish to attend the mosque especially as you are around the age where attend Friday prayers at least will become compulsory for you.

However, at the same time, they are your parents and it is important that you respect and obey them. At the same time, there may come a point where it is ok to disobey them if they direct you to do something that is against Islam.

The parent’s reasons 

Not being aware of their reasons behind why they don’t want you to go, I wouldn’t advise to disobey them at this point. This is something that you would need to take up with them as they may have rational reason for not wanting you to attend.

My Parents Don't Allow Me to Pray in the Mosque - About Islam

Perhaps there are people there that they fear may be a bad influence on you, or the route there is dangerous for example. If it is for a reason such as this then they areright to be concerned about you attending as they are simply looking out for your safety.

Making compromise

If this is the case then you could talk with them to make alternative arrangements that perhaps you go with someone that they know and trust. Perhaps you could even ask your father if he might compromise and go with you to Friday prayer only. Maybe every other week to begin with. This might also guide his heart to Islam and he might meet other men who will guide him rightly.

Alternatively, if their reason for to wanting you to attend is just because they are not practicing Islam and they don’t want you to either then this scenario is somewhat different. In this case, again you could ask if they would make a compromise and allow you to go sometimes to start with.

Perhaps you could agree that to begin with you will only attend Friday prayers. In time as their hearts soften maybe they will allow you to attend more often. Certainly at your age now you are being wise in your desire to attend the mosque as it becomes an important obligation.

Talk with them gently about it and don’t get angry. Be prepared that they may be resistant at first. If so, you can show them that you are serious about it by openly practicing at home in the meantime.

Be Patient 

Let them see how happy and content prayer and worshipping Allah makes you. Even though you are their child, you can still be a positive role model to them. In sha Allah they will see the contentment in your heart and wish for the same and maybe join in with you, or at least allow you to attend your local mosque. This might be a process you have to be patient with depending on their reasons behind why they don’t want you to attend the mosque.

As you get older and reach the age where attendance at the mosque does become compulsory for you then you may end up in a situation where you have to disobey them to ensure that you fulfil your Islamic obligations.


Check out this counseling video 


If this ever occurs, it is important that you still remain entirely respectful to them, but gently disobey any command they give you to do something against Islam if they forbid you from practicing what you are obliged to.

Whatever the scenario, continue to make du’a for them. Ask Allah to guide them I  the straight path and turn their hearts towards Islam.

May Allah reward your efforts to get close to Him and make it easy for you to do so. May He soften your parent’s hearts towards Islam and guide them on the straight path.

Salam

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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