My Daughter Doesn’t Want to See Me

04 September, 2019
Q My daughter chose to stay with her father when we divorced. She doesn't return my text messages and she has asked that I do not call her. Her father has said a LOT of untrue things about me and he continues. Her father and I were together for 17 years. It has been 2 months and I am so torn apart. I do not know what to do. She wants nothing to do with me.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Perhaps there are some legal steps that can be taken to get in touch with your daughter so you can at least have contact with her and discuss some of these issues.

•I would simply advise you to write us again, but this time please provide more information about the situation so that we can have a better idea of some of the issues surrounding the family relations.


As salamu ‘alaykum,

Thank you for your question. Usually, we ask questioners to provide some details for us about the situation you are writing about. It makes it difficult to respond when people ask very general questions for the basis of our responses often has to do with the context of the question. Please feel free to write us back to explain more about the background of your relationship with your daughter, how the situation developed, why you think this might be happening, etc.

There could be so many reasons why your daughter is not wishing to talk to you, but without more information it’s hard for us to give you any concrete answers. For one, why did your daughter choose to stay with your ex-husband after the divorce? Do you know the answer to this question? It might be a start.

My Daughter Doesn't Want to See Me - About Islam

What has your relationship been like with your daughter over the past 17 years?

Why did your husband and you divorce in the first place?

How do you know your ex-husband is saying untrue things about you to your daughter?

Perhaps there are some legal steps that can be taken to get in touch with your daughter so you can at least have contact with her and discuss some of these issues. Other than that, I would simply advise you to write us again, but this time please provide more information about the situation so that we can have a better idea of some of the issues surrounding the family relations. Unfortunately, we only have Islamic guidelines, so we pray that you might find them useful in some way.

Salam

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About Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah
Dr. Abd. Lateef Krauss Abdullah is a Research Fellow at the Institute for Social Science Study’s Community Education and Youth Studies Laboratory, Universiti Putra Malaysia. He received his B.A. from the University of Delaware (U.S.), his M.S. from Columbia University (U.S.) and his PhD from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies (PEKKA), Universiti Putra Malaysia in 2005 in the field of Youth Studies. Abd. Lateef is an American who has been living in Malaysia since 2001. He is married and has 2 children.