Answer
In this counseling answer:
•As you talk to him, ask him whether he loves you.
•Reassure him that you love him and that you married him because you felt together you both would have a loving and caring relationship.
• Remind him that he is spiritually connected to you and that as your husband, he is essentially to serve as the Imam of the household by leading you in prayer whenever you both pray at home.”
As-salamu `Alaikum,
Thank you for writing to us. This is indeed a serious situation which you will not and should not attempt to resolve on your own without the assistance of your parents. Before you involve them however, you should be sure that you have exhausted all of the options available to you so that you can help your husband to insha’Allah see how his choices in life are impacting your relationship with him and how in the future he is bound to impact negatively your children.
Begin by talking to him in a loving and caring manner and remind him that you took him for his word that he would become a Muslim since only under those conditions would you be allowed to marry him. Seek his own explanation for where he is spiritually these days and what if anything he feels are his obligations to practice Islam.
Do not be judgmental and do not react emotionally to his responses but listen carefully if he opens up to you because you want to have as accurate an understanding as possible about whether he really wants to be Muslim or not.
As you talk to him, ask him whether he loves you. Reassure him that you love him and that you married him because you felt together you both would have a loving and caring relationship. Remind him that he is spiritually connected to you and that as your husband, he is essentially to serve as the Imam of the household by leading you in prayer whenever you both pray at home.
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If he is having doubts or second thoughts about having become a Muslim, then let him know there are many resources which can help him to be reintroduced to the religion so that he can insha’Allah start where he left off after his conversion. Insha’Allah he will come to terms with his spirituality and decide to remain a Muslim. If he does so, then as long as his first or last name are not references to or actual names of Hindu gods or other Hindu religious entities, then there is really no problem in his keeping his first and last name and ultimately, for your children to then bear their father’s name.
Be prepared however, which is why we recommended involving your parents in this, to hear from him that he loves you but that he has no continued interest in remaining a Muslim. This will be painful to hear but it is better you know this now than to wait to know it until after you have children. Ultimately, no one guides people’s hearts except Allah so you make du’a to Allah to guide your husband’s heart to Islam and to strengthen your familial bonds. And Allah knows best.
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