A Son With Two Forms of Autism

17 September, 2018
Q I have a son who has two forms of autism. He is 14 years old now, but I've had problems since being pregnant with him - I had a bad labour. I spent 10 years just trying to get him diagnosed, and it’s been a real hard time spending 14 years learning how to deal with my son. I also have a 9 year-old son who does not have anything like his older brother. I would like to know if there is anyone else who has had similar experiences. I really need to talk to other parents in the same situation.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

“You can join one of these online support groups and find people that you can connect with. I am part of a number of Yahoo groups, and I find that they are all different so you have to try out a few and see which one “fits” you. Some are useful and some are not.Some are full of friendly, helpful people, and others are filled with people who just want to criticize or tell you what to do.”


Salam Aleikom dear I,

Your experience is very common. Many people have had trouble getting their child diagnosed and having a child with autism often leaves the mother as the sole caretaker. Even when the family remains together, it is often the mother who is the only one able to care for the child. I have a couple clients whose husband’s travel or are in the army, so even though they are not single parents, they are functioning most of the time in that situation. It is very difficult!

Luckily, it is becoming less in the United States with the massive awareness campaigns that just started three years ago concerning autism. There are now a number of Hollywood stars and public figures that have written about their experiences. With all the publicity, magazine articles, features and new websites, autism has gone from “hidden and unknown” to “everyone knows someone with autism” now.

It has been really helpful for people because now there is a lot more information out there and a lot more networking. Before, it was hard for a parent to connect with other parents having the same experience. Now, there are a number of support groups online and a lot of information.


Check out this counseling video


Even if you are not in the USA, you can join one of these online support groups and find people that you can connect with. I am part of a number of Yahoo groups, and I find that they are all different so you have to try out a few and see which one “fits” you.

Some are useful and some are not. Some are full of friendly, helpful people, and others are filled with people who just want to criticize or tell you what to do. Don’t be discouraged if you join a few groups that do not fit you. Just start with a few, post your situation to the group and see what happens. As time goes on, you can leave the groups you do not feel comfortable with.

Salam,

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About Hwaa Irfan
Late Hwaa Irfan, may her soul rest in peace, served as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. Her main focus was on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.