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On Fathers’ Day: Dads Are Not Just Breadwinners

19 June, 2022
Q Can we celebrate father's day? What is a father's role in Islam?

Answer

Short Answer:

  • Celebrating Father’s Day is a social and family day to honor fathers and acknowledge their role in our lives.
  • A Muslim may celebrate this day as long as this celebration does not contain un-Islamic practices or promote un-Islamic values. 
  • The presence of the father in the life of children means security and care. It means the role model and authority. The father must share in the bringing up of the children.

………….

Salam dear questioner,

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Thank you for your question. 

On Father’s Day: Dads Are Not Just Breadwinners

A Muslim must honor his parents in compliance with the Islamic guideline. We read in the Quran what means:

*{For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And honor your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them ˹even˺ ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully. And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, “My Lord! Be merciful to them as they raised me when I was young.}* (Quran 17:23-24)

A person came to Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and asked,

“Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” The Prophet said, “Your mother”. He again asked, ”Who next?” “Your mother”, the Prophet replied again. He asked, “Who next?” The Prophet said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon, the Prophet said,” Then your father.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Ubaidullah Ibn Abu Bakr said:

I heard Anas ibn Malik saying:

The Messenger of Allah talked about the major sins, or he was asked about the major sins. Upon this, he observed: Associating anyone with Allah, killing of a person, disobedience to parents. (Muslim)

Showing kindness, love, dutifulness and honor to parents should not be limited to a certain day in the year where we celebrate Mother’s or Father’s Day. This should be done every day throughout the year. 

Celebrating Father’s Day is a social and family day to honor fathers and acknowledge their role in our lives.

A Muslim may celebrate this day as long as this celebration does not contain un-Islamic practices or promote un-Islamic values. 

Role of the Father

Many people do not understand the role of fathers in Islam. Fathers shoulder a huge responsibility in Islam. Fatherhood goes hand in hand with motherhood. 

The role of the parents in the life of the children is very important. The Quran links this relationship to that of the sun and the moon.

When Prophet Joseph (peace be upon him) told his father, Prophet Jacob (peace be upon him), about his dream, he said: 

*{‘Remember’ when Joseph said to his father, “O my dear father! Indeed I dreamt of eleven stars, and the sun, and the moon—I saw them prostrating to me!}* (Quran 12:4)

The sun represents the father and the moon represents the mother. 

The presence of the father in the life of children means security and care. It means the role model and authority. The father must share in the bringing up of the children.

Fathers should understand that their help in raising the children will protect them against the various form of corruption and bad behavior prevailing the society.  

Dear father, you are the family leader

Fathers in Islam have a role in the moral upbringing of the children. If you want your children to offer prayers, fasting, and other good deeds, you have to do them first in front of them. 

If you want your children to respect you, you have to respect them. Lower your voice so that you will not hear the children shouting at you. Befriend your children so that they will tell them about their personal stuff.  

Ibn Umar reported that the Prophet Muhammad said, 

“All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects, the man is a guardian of his family, the woman is a guardian and is responsible for her husband’s house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

“Indeed Allah will question everyone who is responsible about his charge.”  (At-Tirmidhi)

Dear father, you are the breadwinner

A father must support the wife and children with a lawful provision. We read in the Quran what means: 

*{Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially.}* (Quran 4:34)

 You have to feed and clothe your wife and children as well as possible. The Quran says:

*{Upon the father is the mothers’ provision and their clothing according to what is acceptable.}* (Quran 2:233)

Dear father, support your children spiritually

Provide a spiritual and peaceful atmosphere in the family. Instill in your children the love of Allah and His Prophet. Implant in them a sense of mercy and compassion. Teach them how to maintain their family ties. Take them with you when you visit your parents and family relatives. Take them with you when you distribute the zakah and charity. 

Develop a good relation with your children. Your presence in their life is very crucial. There is no greater father-children relationship than that of the Prophet and his daughter Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her). The Prophet had a special place in his heart for Fatimah. 

Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) commented:

When the Prophet saw Fatimah approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.” (Muslim)

Dear father, help the mother with the housework

Some fathers think that they are merely the breadwinners. Yes, part of the father’s role is to support the family financially, but he should help the mother in raising the children and doing some of the house work when the mother is sick or tired or even in normal circumstances as a kind gesture of showing love and mercy to the wives.

You have a good example in the Prophet’s life. Hisham said,

“I asked Aishah, ‘What did the Prophet do in his house?’ She replied, ‘He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

Dear sons and daughters, honor your fathers as you honor your mothers. Without them, your life will be missing a lot. 

I hope this answers your question.

And Allah knows best.

I hope this helps.

Salam and please keep in touch.

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About Dr. Mohsen Haredy
Dr. Mohsen Haredy holds a PhD in Hadith literature from Leiden University, the Netherlands. He is the former Executive Manager and Editor-in-Chief of E-Da`wah Committee in Kuwait, and a contributing writer and counselor of Reading Islam. He graduated from Al-Azhar University and earned his MA in Hadith literature from Leiden University.